And Nobody Died

We saw Deadbeat Godfather this morning. Nobody died. Nobody got beat down. It went much more smoothly than it could have. I felt surprisingly at peace on the way there and surprisingly at peace as I left. Now, they could have totally been horrible and made fun of me and my kids when I left, but I was not there to hear it. And that is fine by me.

No, I did not smack the shit out of DBG like I wanted to.

No, he did not apologize for being out of touch or being such a shit over the past two years.

As I got in the car, I told him "LittleBird's birthday is in January. Send a card." He looked at me and said, "Send me your address."

Fucker.

I guess the flash in my eyes gave him pause because he quickly added, "Oh. Duh. I could send and e-card."

Um. I have had the same email address since 1997. I check it every day. Even the junk mail. Even if he had forgotten it, I have a very unusual surname, and Googling it will bring up my email every time. He could have gotten my post address from me at any time. Fucker.

Just goes to show another person in my life who refuses to take responsibility for their actions.

Oh God. I'm Biting The Bullet.

I just got off of the phone with Deadbeat Godfather. Of course, I had to call him. At least he answered the phone. I will be driving up with the kids so he can see LittleBird tomorrow. He hasn't seen her since she was 10 months old.

Fucker.

Even worse, I have to go back to my old job to do this. To parade my kids in front of these wicked, wicked women whom I despise. And not "wicked women" as is "you are so cool," but wicked as in evil nasty bitches who made my life a living hell before I quit my job. Who were so jealous of my maternity leave and work-from-home telecommuting arrangement that they did everything they could to get me sacked.

Deadbeat Godfather played into the whole thing, and I still think he is a fucker for not taking care of business.

But in the end, he is her godfather. I will snap a few photos for posterity and it will be done. I will have been the one who made this connection happen. I will have been the bigger person. Yes, this is totally selfish of me. Yes, it probably makes me a bitch. But when LittleBird is older she cannot ask me why I did not take her to see him. I will have done my part.

Someone Save Me From My Stupidity

There is something about going home that brings out the crazy in all of us. Somehow, the fact that we have been gone from the town we grew up in gives us a certain kind of amnesia. At least it does me.

I will be taking the kiddos to my parent's house for two weeks. In preparation for our trip, I have emailed or called old friends so I can see as many people as possible in such a short period of time.

My time is going to be limited, and for some reason part of me has had the urge to call two people that I do not even speak to on a regular basis. I think I must have the Please Insult Me Further disease.

First is the girl with whom I was best friends in high school. We no longer see each other or send emails. Every other month or so, this girl will send out a mass email with pictures of her "cute" kids. I always reply saying something polite-but-cool. She never responds. She never asks how my kids are doing. But she will go and lurk on my other web page for a day or two and look at pictures of my kids there. Freak. Why I would even be tempted to find out if we are in town at the same time shows I must have a sick sense of self-punishment. I guess I want to see how she is in real life now, and how her kids are. Totally out of a self-serving need to compare myself and my kids to her and come away from it gloating. Bitchy, but I am being honest here.

Second is the deadbeat godfather of LittleBird. You can read about that whole mess here. I have been really torn as to whether or not I should let him know we are going to be in town. Since he has been such a shit and not been in touch at all, I want to say fuck it. But, I am still stupidly trying to be the bigger person here. So, I shot off an email before I could change my mind. We'll see what his response will be. I do not want to go back to my old job to see him because I have ZERO desire to see my old colleagues. Those harpies fed me to the wolves before I quit. I don't hate them for it, but neither do I want them lying to my face telling me how happy they are to see me.

So, I feel like a schmuck for reaching out to DBG, but maybe it will bring a little healing. Or I might just end up wanting to stick pins in an effigy of him. We shall see.

Chronicles Of A Deadbeat Godfather: Part II

Brief update...I surprisingly DID hear back from DBG. It was a brief email, upbeat and chatty in nature. Not once did he mention my dd. He listed the health problems he had suffered the past eighteen months, and congratulated me on the birth of the Little Guy.

I know DBG's personality pretty well, and the "upbeat" tone of the email was deliberate. I guess I should be glad he even bothered to write back at all, but considering the lack of depth in the message--I don't even know why he bothered. My subsequent email inquiring to his current health, etc. has yet gone unanswered. I assume that as he touched base with the first email he feels he has done his job for the year. Blech. Will update with any new information. I am thinking it will be around Christmas or so.

The Chronicles of a Deadbeat Godfather

The Catholic Church has specific rules as to how one must choose godparents. If you don't already know them, go look it up.

I am not what real Catholics consider to be a good Catholic. I have far too much education, and I think for myself. However, I am hard-pressed to find any institution, religious or otherwise that I find to be perfect. So when the time came to have my daughter baptized, we were faced with a dilemma. Do we baptize her Catholic? Yes. I will post about that decision later. This post is dedicated to the shitty choice in a godfather I made.

I chose a longtime friend and colleague. Honestly, he was the only male Catholic I could think of. He is a lapsed Catholic even more so than myself. And he is gay (oh the horror!!). But, he has just enough sass and sense to answer my daughter any question she might have--political, historical, scriptural and otherwise. This man suffers from an overabundance of education, and I thought he would put it to good use with LittleBird.

I thought.

Fast forward nearly two years, and we have not heard a peep from him. Since I quit the job he and I worked at together, not one bloody word. So what that we moved across country? My cell number is the same, and I have had the same Hotmail address since 1999. He could have gotten in touch with us at any time.

I finally emailed him last week after months of hemming and hawing over it. It comes down to this--I may have made a poor choice in choosing him as LittleBird' godfather, but it is done. The Vatican is not going to give me a do-over (though I did wonder about the possibility). I do not know if he is going to email me back. He did not respond to the Christmas card I sent the first Christmas, and he did not acknowledge that fact that I had moved out of state when my new job called him for a reference. So, we shall see. I don't know whether this is a bet I would take or not.