Going To Bed Ugly Increases Your Sex Drive

Those of us in long-term relationships have more than likely noticed a downward curve in the frequency of sex. In the beginning, our hands and minds run rampant. After years and years together, not so much. I have discovered the culprit. It isn't Colonel Mustard in the Study with the Candlestick.

It is the Bedtime Routine.

Now that we are old (and by old I mean out of college) our bedtime routines have become increasingly more detailed. At one point we collapsed onto our beds, not giving one thought to contacts that should be taken out or make-up that should be removed. Just the blissful feel of the pillow under our heads.

Now? We are busy. Tweezing hairs, tucking hemorrhoids, performing makeshift surgical extractions of ingrown toenails. A cream for this, a pill for that. By the time we make it to the prone position on our mattress, the only tingle most of us feel is from anti-wrinkle cream.

Start a revolution, people. Go to bed ugly. Let that mascara smear. Forget the damned foot powder. Save the Bengay and Preparation-H for later. It's much more fun to snuggle with a partner who doesn't smell like a pharmacy.