Monday, June 15, 2009

Don't Look Under the Cabbage Leaf

Even when I'm not blogging, apparently, I am.

The family and I have been visiting the North Georgia mountains and all the riches it has to offer. No internet. No cell coverage. No liquor. Customers in fast food restaurants straight out of Deliverance. I didn't even know they made high-tops in cammo.

Actually, it is a beautiful area with very nice people, and we've had a great time. The weather's been gorgeous, and I am picking Hubbie up from the airport in a few hours.

The idea of unplugging for nearly a week was very appealing. Time to read and watch the sunset. Enjoy a little peaceful family time. I don't know who I was kidding. My kids miss their father and have shown me by being behaviorally challenged in new and less than appealing ways. It's been an overall good time, but I am damned glad that help is on the way.

We hit the Cabbage Patch Kid factory yesterday, and much as we hyped it up to the kids, frankly I've seen all the fuss and it's no big deal.* They are opening a new facility sometime this year, and I hope it is a little more interactive. Look torture up in the dictionary and you will see nothing of waterboarding or fingernail extraction but having room after room of open displays filled with Cabbage Patch dolls at preschooler eye level with huge signs telling parents not to let their children touch. Seriously? What genius thought that up?

Throughout all of this, I was wearing a shirt with my NATUI avatar with no one the wiser that Blogmaster Flash was in the house. I took LittleMan to the central Cabbage Patch Birthing area to watch a new doll enter the world when I saw it. Straight in front of me. This ugly little fucker adorable adoptee. I actually choked.

Seriously. Just last week I came across a street sign that said Freeman on it. I looked up, and there it was. We were thankfully stopped at a red light because I started yelling Stay red! Stay red! while frantically rummaging for my camera in the bowels of my diaper bag. This time I looked down and the thing nearly bit me.

So Chris? You have gone through many appellation changes, but through it all, I have always referred to you by your last name because of the cool factor. Today, I may have to make an exception. Freeman Jarvis has quite a ring to it. That's my vote if you and the little ones ever start a garage band.

*I just found an old mix tape with of of my favorite Hootie songs. I just couldn't resist.


Anonymous said...

Now I'm going to be looking for Freeman signs everywhere I could be the. next. big. thing.

Anonymous said...

You have NATUI t=shirts?! Can I have one . . .

A Free Man said...

One of us would have to learn to play an instrument first, but if we get that far then at least we've got a name.

I wonder what the cosmos are trying to tell you?

Irrational Dad said...

I've tried "unplugging" before... I failed miserably. Damn blackberry phones. They were created by the devil herself.

Did you see what I did there? Har har har.

Patois42 said...

Seriously, do you sell NATUI shirts? Maybe you could open an etsy shop.

Gypsy said...

I have always thought those dolls were creepy as hell, but Freeman Jarvis does have a nice ring to it.

Mouthy Girl said...

That's one of the more horrific dolls I've seen in my lifetime. Invoking the red light gods was a stroke of genius on your part - not that I'm surprised.

Rassles said...

Damn, I used to be obsessed with my cabbage patch doll's horse.

Didn't really care about the doll. But OH I STILL HAVE APPLES.

(Apples is the name of the horse.)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@hereinfranklin: It might be, but I'll keep my eyes peeled for 'Franklin' signs, too.

@thecheekofgod: You really want that my creepy avatar on your chest? LOL

@AFM: We'd be glad to chip in for a drum set for BoyZ. Dr. O'C would love that, I'm sure.

@Joe: Nice one! I like it. And it is precisely the reason I haven't gotten a Blackberry yet.

@Patois: I use CafePress for my shirts, but they've been making a lot of changes over there recently, so we'll see. I really only did it for myself. No funky sayings yet, just my avatar.

@Gypsy: Yeah, I am digging the Freeman Jarvis.

@Buddha_Girl: The cosmos converged. Divine intervention. I was just damned lucky.

@Rassles: That is cool, but does she smell like Apple Dumplin'? I'd have to sniff her all the time, then. :)

Blues said...

When I turned 9 my parents took me to the park 'n' swap and bought me a 'cabbage patch doll'. The only one available had a white body and a brown-ish colored hard head. It was a multi-cultural cabbage patch knock off. But man did I ever love that thing.