Saturday, June 20, 2009

Those Glorious Paper Robes

Last year, I had the great fortune to take my good friend Coalminer Heather to my yearly surgical check-up. We had a blast, and I recommended that taking a friend to a doctor appointment makes for a fun afternoon and great diversion.

This year, Hubbie was able to perform his marital duty and accompanied me to my appointment. It was our good fortune that we met up with CMGD and her hubster for a good lunch and better conversation.

We couldn't pass up the opportunity to have a nerd moment. You know that no get-together would be complete without a little PDT (public display of technology).

To be brutally honest, my appointment last year with Coalminer Heather was way more fun. I think next year she is back on the program, and Hubbie can go play golf.

I warned him that we would have to take pictures. He did not agree in any way, shape or form. Eventually, I harassed him into taking this photo. I couldn't get him to take his clothes off, but he was still a good sport. He must really love me.

After being thoroughly and painfully violated with all of my surgeon's instrumentation, I asked for a lollipop. I mean hell, if my kids get a lollipop after a shot I deserve some kind of perk after a doctor uses a vaginal transducer to look at my tonsils. He is anti-candy, so he offered me a condom instead. How was that supposed to comfort me? I hobbled out of there like I had a cinderblock wedged in my crack, and he thinks a condom is going to make me feel better?

As a salve for my wounded ego, Hubbie and I browsed a local electronics store. I left feeling more depressed than when I arrived. For the out-of-pocket price I paid my doctor, I could have bought myself a sorely needed new laptop.

After a long and emotional day, I learned that as much as I love my husband, I'd rather have my girlfriend hang with me at the OB. I learned that when women want chocolate, men will offer them condoms. I learned that when faced with a coveted laptop upgrade or taking care of my health, as much as it pains me I go the responsible route. I learned that a photo of my husband in those glorious paper robes will help dry any amount of tears.


Anonymous said...

Glad everything went well. And you got a condom. Er . . . maybe not the last part . . .

A Free Man said...

I'm glad I'm a guy. And that I live in a country where you don't have to pay laptop rates to be painfully violated.

buddha_girl said...

I'm just disappointed that hubby didn't put his feet in the stirrups. What about taking one for the team, dammit!

Got your email and will shoot one back before heading to bed!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, Mr. NATUI! You look fabulous in that gown. *Swoon!*

Honey, I'm up for next year's appointment in a heartbeat! And I'll smuggle in the Godiva as well. :) Had a great time geeking out at lunch! Love you!

Lindsay said...

Wow, that pic was a good laugh..

Hope the medical aspect of the appointment went okay. Pisses me off that the specialists will charge out the.. er.. bum for what insurance will never cover when they know we're desperate. I get that it has to work that way in some regard, but it sure feels shitty I know. Hugs.

Joe said...

What crazy world do you live in where it's a husband's marital (I typed martial three times before I got it right) duty to go to the woman-doctor with you???? That is like my kryptonite. No WAY am I going there to watch a doctor squish my wife's boobies, and stick metal things inside her.

Actually.... it is a female doctor... this isn't sounding so bad after all.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@thecheekofgod: Sadly, I didn't even get the condom. They forgot to put them in my bag.

@AFreeMan: True. And I could go to a "reg" OB/GYN for this, but this guy is the best of the best and I'm paying for it. If I were still in Sweden I wouldn't have to pay, but I likely wouldn't have children, either.

@BuddhaGirl: I didn't want to push my luck. I thought about it, but the fact he caved to this degree--you take what you can get.

@CMGD: We are on. I'll send you a save the date card. LOL

@Lindsay: the medical aspect is status quo for this year. Thank god. And I hate the financial aspect, but at least in this case, I do feel I get what I pay for.

@Joe: LOL If this were just a girlie exam, I'd never make him go. But this is my Girlie Exam (note the capital letters) wherein they take up to ten vials of blood and determine whether or not my severe and incurable endo has once again progressed to the point of surgical necessity. It's all linked to the serial posts I did last autumn.

Gypsy said...

My hoo-ha commiserates with your OB misery, but I'm glad you got to spend some time with CMGD and Ty.