Thursday, November 6, 2008

Ass-Whipping By Grocery Cart

Yesterday, I finally built up the energy to strap my kids in their carseats and venture forth to the grocery store for milk.

All promises of good behavior from my kids were promptly broken, and I think my rapid blinking to hold back the tears and muttering under my breath scared the people standing behind me in line.

I paid. I headed outside.

I completely spazzed out.

I always park next to the cart return. Always. I don't mind walking a bit further for the ease of parking the cart after unloading my kids and groceries.

Yesterday, I walked towards my car to see Cart Return Dude with fifteen or so carts all lined up--against the back of my Jeep. The entire line of carts. All on my back bumper.

And he starts pushing them.

I yelled at him. I literally threw my head back and yelled You have GOT to be kidding me? What the HELL!?!?!? What are you DOING?

Passersby moved quickly to the side to get out of my way.

Cart Return Dude, whom I should mention was man in his forties, gestured at my back bumper and said No tocado! No tocado!

Bullfucking shit those carts weren't touching my car.

To add insult to injury, he continued to push his line of carts across the back of my car and simply left me standing there.

My kids were awfully quiet.

I loaded the food, locked the door and went back into the store and straight to customer service.

The woman behind the desk looked appropriately appalled by my story, but really? What could be done at this point? There wasn't any significant damage to my car that I could see. It was the principle of the matter. There was no way those carts should have been near my car. Period.

It wasn't the manager's fault, so it was pointless to yell at her. I angrily told her that I found his behavior unacceptable and went home.

I nearly told her that he needed to sit in timeout. Seriously.

All I know is that if I see that fucker in the parking lot the next time I go he'd better start running if he doesn't want cart tracks up his ass.


Joe said...

You should have punched him and, when the cops showed up, said "No tocado."

A Free Man said...

Yikes - he messed with the wrong Jeep driver.

RiverPoet said...

WTF??? I think I might have had to hurt him!


SSG said...

you are one scary lady!

Gypsy said...

Daaaaang. You are a spitfire!

Duck said...

I think the most important thing is....your children were quiet.


Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Joe: Now THAT is the best advice I've gotten in ages. I totally laughed out loud, man.

@AFM: Yeah, but I think my current Jeep isn't as badass as my last one.

@RiverPoet: I wanted to.

@SSG: My bark is WAY worse than my bite.

@Gypsy: Thanks!

@Duck: Hell yeah. They got a donut for it, too.

Krysta said...

not good... i would have pushed the carts back at him and tried to run over his foot because damn that hurts!