Wednesday, August 27, 2008

American As Apple Pie?

Shit, please. Apple pie? American?

I don't think so.

Let me tell you the sad reality of my upcoming trip to the Land of the Vikings.

Am I excited to see friends and family?

Yes and no. In that order.

But what am I absolutely stoked about?

It is the only place I know of where you can walk into a McDonald's and still get a fried apple pie.

That's right kids. Not baked. Not nuked. Not cardboard with cinnamon coloring painted on it. An honest-to-god crunchy, boiling hot, flaky, syrupy dripping apple pie in all its greasy goodness.

How wrong is it that you have to travel outside the US to find a product created here?

It is a travesty, I tell you. An absolute travesty.

For that is the taste of childhood, folks. A wonderful childhood memory that by some bizarre and fucked-up twist of fate you have to travel to a different country to enjoy.

I don't understand the hows or whys. All I know is that you can be for damn sure I will order one every time I pass those golden arches. My kids get to try them for the first time, and I am going to eat them until I am absolutely sick.

I cannot wait.


A Free Man said...

The first time I went to Europe I was absolutely stoked that they still used the scary processed "chicken" in their McNuggets rather than the "healthy" chicken.

Not the same thing, exactly, but you know.

RiverPoet said...

MMmmmm, apple pie! I remember eating those in my younger days. Dad would never take us to fast food joints (which he classified as "nasty food"), so when I moved out, I lived on it for awhile :-)

Enjoy - D

ssg said...

man I'm almost considering travelling for that apple pie... fried.... (you can take the girl out of scotland...) PS I saw this t-shirt and thought of you:

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...


Have 2 or 3 at least for me.

I did peek in to a McDo's in Paris (had to use the free restroom), and wouldn't you know it, just like in Pulp Fiction - the Big Mac is truly called "Le Royale". I didn't dare check out the rest of the menu; I was afraid I'd ending up ordering the left side of the menu board.

Gypsy said...

Mmmmm... pie.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, hell yeah! Eat one for me, will ya? I remember when you could also get fried cherry pies there. Oh, now those were my faves. Yum!

Ashlie- MommyCosm said...

Oh, Wow! I LOVE the old McDs fried apple pies!! I had no idea they even still existed anywhere. I might have to go there. YUM!

Krysta said...

can you pack me in your suitcase because i'm right there with you on the apple pies, i miss them awful!

Patois said...

Oh, yeah, Homer, I get you. I used to love their apple pies. Now? I don't think I've tried one in 10 years. And it's not like I'm not in the place once a week for our McD special.

Jay said...


Oh, heavens .. that sounds evil. Almost as bad as fried Mars bars. Can you imagine the calories? It would probably amount to two days' worth!

I would not dare to eat one. Not only because it would probably make me feel unwell, but because I'm very much afraid I would like it. LOL!

Bon Appetit!

Sherrie said...

I so agree with you!!! My German thinks its disgusting, but I go in there and get them for breakfast, pure crunchy outside, hot melty inside desire.

This is where those 10 kilos came from, among my bakery visits as well...


K-Mom said...

Oh man! Do I EVER agree with you!!!

The McDonald's fried apple was THE BEST!!! I actually wrote a tribute to it once on my blog, but alas it is no more. Sniff!

CPA Mom said...