Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Why I TreadMill

This post was almost called Your Mother Was a Hamster, but I have recently been accused of quoting TV and film. In a way that I felt was not exactly complimentary. Therefore, I am matching the title of this post to my Wordless Wednesday post, as they are related.

I have always hated treadmills. I used to say that treadmills were for hamsters, not people.

Life changes you, though. Years have passed. Kids have dropped out of my vagina. I'd rather blog than go to the gym. As the pounds have added themselves to my ass I have understood their allure the necessity of their evil.

Because of this I promised myself when I came to stay with my parents that I would use their treadmill. Everyday.

I slacked off the first day or so for all the usual reasons. Unpacking. Getting settled. Forgot about it.

Then, I went to buy myself pyjamas.

Everyone thinks they look great until they hit those fluorescent lights. I stripped down, and I was honestly horrified by what I saw. We are a fairly naked family, so it isn't like I haven't seen myself in the light of day the past few months, but this was just awful.

When I got home I made an agreement with my father. At some point during the day, he has to take charge of the kids for 30 minutes. Every day.

That was two days ago. I am not a runner, but I got on that damned thing and walked and jogged. I actually broke a sweat. Of course, it helps that there is a TV set up in front of the thing.

Yesterday, I wanted to skip it. I had not been able to get on the treadmill before dinner and wasn't exactly stoked at the prospect of getting on so late in the evening.

But I did it. By god I dumped my kids off on my mom and went downstairs for 30 minutes of hell.

I am sure I undid it by the plate of food I ate afterwards. but it was so worth it. We're talking prosciutto with pears. Kalamata olives with smoked gouda. Muenster cheese, pumpernickel bread and extra garlic hummus washed down with a giant glass of Cab.

It's enough to make one believe in the divine.

So did I burn more calories than I consumed? Oh hell no. But the burn in my legs today feels good. My palate has been appeased, and I am almost looking forward to my session this afternoon.

Now, if I can just get that bottle of Cab to quit looking at me.


Gypsy said...

I have a very nice treadmill that my uncle gave us. I've used it approximately once. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

I've been using the recumbent bike I got off Craigslist! So far, twice. LOL

When Do we get to see you? Girl's night or family time?

highlander1463 said...

If that bottle of Cab is looking at you, it's for a damn good reason. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending 30 minutes on that torture device, AND THEN spending the evening with a nice bottle of wine...or scotch...or tequila. You get my meaning.

I always pretend that I am being chased by a monster or something when I run. I usually give up and let the monster eat me though.


Momma said...

I've had a treadmill, a bike, and a BowFlex. They all made great clothing racks. I know exercise is good for you, I just don't like it :-)

Good for you for hitting the treadmill, though. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with the way you look, but YOU have to be happy with it, yeah?

And those dressing room mirrors? Should be outlawed....

Peace - D

K-Mom said...

What do they say? If you do something for 90 days in a row it becomes a habit? You have 88 more days to go!

You can do it. I try and work out every day, too and like you, I hate every minute of it. I try to look at it like laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I hate doing those things but if I want clean laundry, clean dishes and a normal sized ass..those things have to be done.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, fuck yeah girlfriend. That's why us chicks exercise. To eat what the hell we want and keeping the waist-line status-quo.

Yup. Looked worth it to me.

Jay said...

I hate exercise, I have a gym membership but haven't been since Christmas. One problem I have is that I need to exercise, both for my blood pressure and my fibromyalgia - never mind the creeping middle-age thingy - but there are times I'm injured (which happens rather easily) and ... well, who wants to go down to the gym for ten minutes slow walking?

I bought an iGallop and use it pretty much every day, have done since February. I'll actually miss it when I'm on holiday. I need a treadmill, because if it's in the house, I'll use it. If I have to go out to use it ... that's not so likely.

Chris in Happy Valley said...

Who accused you of ripping off movies and who the hell cares!

Fuck 'em

Not Afraid To Use It said...

@Gypsy: That's the problem. When you have one, you don't use it. When you don't have one, you covet the exercise equipment your friends have. There is just no winning.

@Nicole: See, I would LOVE a recumbent bike bc I could blog at the same time. LOL Yes, let's get together. I'll give you a call.

@Highlander: I used to say that I didn't run unless being chased. Apparently, I am chasing the bottle of Cab in my head until I am allowed to get off the treadmill and drink it.

@Momma: I think we all have our areas of ourselves that we criticize. For me, it isn't so much my weight but my SHAPE. That, and I cannot afford to go out and buy new clothes. So, if I want to have clothes to wear I have to fit back into my summer clothes. LOL

@K-Mom: Ah. If I were only at my parents house for 88 more days. Our CL is GREAT for treadmills and such. I want to get one for our place, but there is the whole space issue. Blech.

@CMGD: It WAS worth it. Except for the sour stomach in the middle of the night. But I ignored it, went back to sleep and was no worse for the wear.

@Jay: That's what worries me about gym memberships. It's too easy not to go.

@CiHV: Yeah, that chick doesn't even read my blog, but I was feeling pissy about it. :)

CPA Mom said...

o.m.g. that food looks wonderful. I think I gained a pound just looking at it.

Good for you using the treadmill while on vacation! I would be money I do ZERO exercise while we are gone in July.