Monday, June 2, 2008

Of Airports and Assholes

We have arrived safely in Land of Tara and the Pissing Calvin. Of humidity so thick you start to sweat before finishing toweling off from a shower.

There is a woman in Seattle somewhere who has been scarred for life.

And rightly so.

Our paths crossed at the DC airport, and she will think twice about how she conducts herself in public and around small children.

I am sure she is a perfectly nice woman. Checking in at a crowded airport kiosk is difficult under the best of circumstances.

Knock your tower of luggage on top of me? Fine. No biggie. It happens. Let's get on with our lives and finish this hellish check-in process.

Knock your tower of luggage over a second time? This time on top of my kid in his stroller? Not. Fucking. Cool.

You got it. This woman's gigantic suitcase fell on LittleMan. Actually, it was the pulled-out metal handle that slammed into this left thigh and pinned him against the seat whilst he screamed bloody murder.

I wanted to beat the shit out of her. If nothing else demand her name and address in the event she had broken his damned femur so I could send her the bill.

Instead, after the initial shouting of Oh My GOD!!! I kept trying to soothe him, while looking for LittleBird's reservation which was not showing, while the ticket agent got snarky with me for not having my ID at the ready.

In the best interest of my family (which meant not getting arrested for beating down LuggageDropper or jumping over the kiosk and strangling SnarkyTicket Agent), I got my shit done and we got out of there.

All I could think of was thank the heavens this woman was headed for Seattle. Having to stare at the back of her head on my flight would have been horrible.

She was behind us in security. I saw her at the food court. I tried not to give her the continuous Murder Death Kill look, but she knew I was looking at her. I know she could feel it.

Board plane. Get LittleMan adjusted while LittleBird sits somewhere else with Grampa. I look up.

There she is.

On my flight.

Our eyes meet.

I have to give her credit. She could have looked the other way and continued on past.

Instead, she asked if he was going to be okay. I patted his leg and told her I hoped so.

She said that she really, really was sorry.

I told her I appreciated her saying so.

In English we tend to say It's okay after someone apologizes.

It wasn't okay. Not even near okay.

I respect her for looking me in the face and apologizing. I do appreciate her having said it.

I wonder what her version of the story was when she got to her destination.

I would put money on the fact that the next time she goes to the airport she will have better control of her luggage, a tighter rein on her husband, and a sharper eye on the stroller next to her.


Crystal said...

I have some Bloggy Love for you over at Memoirs of a Mommy

buddha_girl said...

Holy hell on a stick.

I'm in awe of your self-control. I fear that my face would have been on the nightly news for going apeshit on BOTH of those idiots.

Chris in Happy Valley said...

Reason No.7,163 that traveling just fucking sucks. Well done on maintaining your composure. Hope the return trip is better!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Holy Crap. Dude. I'm surprised there isn't a headline about a half-crazed mom covered in blood and dragging a bloody stump around the airport.

A+ for your composure, girl!

The Van Goat Ranch said...'re a way better woman than I am.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Dudette, I'm with you. Hit me with your bag, I might let it slide. Hit my kid, you are so frickin' toast, and you better start figuring out right now how you're gonna poop with 2 buttholes.

Your maturity and restraint were beyond admirable. You rock the Mommy title, hands down!

highlander1463 said...

I am at the point where I will not fly anymore. The way security is at the airports now if you would have said anything to her they would have done a body cavity search on you.

Of course you could have said something to security and they would have played hide the rubber finger with her. Maybe next time.


Momma said...

Eek! People just don't pay attention to what they're doing anymore! I'm glad LittleMan is okay!

Peace - D

buddha_girl said...

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I lost your email. Email me, sister:

ringldr AT hotmail DOT com

Mermaid said...

You came away the better person for not killing her--jail probably has even more assholes than the airport, but not by much.

Just be glad she has to go home and live with herself for the rest of her life, you only had to experience her for a day.

Rachel said...

Glad he wasn't hurt. Or that she wasn't, teehee!