Monday, June 30, 2008

The Bullseye Mirage

Since moving to NewCity, I have developed a syndrome.

Today I officially christened it The Bullseye Mirage.

I can see my store. I know where I am supposed to be going. I go there. And the store is, well, it's just not there.

I cannot quite explain how it developed, but it has begun to interfere with my rare opportunities for shopping excursions to my favorite Bullseye store.

See, we are bizarrely equidistant from several in a frustrating bermuda triangle effect. Because of this, it takes a lot of driving time and effort to get there. I rarely have the energy to go because just thinking about the logistics exhausts me. I usually punk out and wait until the weekend when Hubbie can join us.

Even so, I have been trying to learn my way around without my GPS so that I actually learn where I am going.

And I totally suck.

Even with the GPS, every time I head for a Bullseye store I end up going some crazy-ass route that ensures crabby kids, fumes in the gas tank, and not a drive-thru coffee shop to be found. It's like going around my ass to get to my elbow.

So today I was certain I knew where I was going. Talked up milkshakes for the kids. I only had five things on my list. It was going to be in, out, spank me we are done.

I should have known.

I got completely turned around and just thanked the transportation gods that LittleMan was napping.

People talk about stay-at-home-moms doing nothing but shopping and spending their husbands' paycheck. Not me. Apparently I'm not to be let out of the house on my own. My keen navigational skills got lost in the move from Tahoe. If anyone finds the box I packed them in, overnight them to me. Please.

8 comments:

jayna said...

I'd gladly give you some of mine, but I seem to have lost them too. I spent 35 minutes today driving around an area that was no bigger than 2 miles x 2 miles, completely unable to find the building I was looking for. Turned out I passed it three times.

I have a guess where "New City" is and the husband knows just how strongly I feel about not moving there because of the driving and traffic.

Momma said...

If you get lost? Come visit me. I have a bullseye store minutes from my house. We could have fun!

Peace - D

buddha_girl said...

NO WONDER you're getting lost! Sheesh! Look where you live! It's a convoluted driving NIGHTMARE.

Things are MUCHO easier down here, sister. Albeit slowwwwwer.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Dude, that NewCity? You know the nickname for it, right? Yeah. Sucks.

And? I know how to find that certain store easily no matter where you are. www.target.com.

Waiting for you to beat the shit out of me! :P

Chris in Happy Valley said...

Can I just say, without sounding like a misogynist, that women suck at navigation?

Huh, inexplicably that sounded misoggynistic...

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Jayna: The sad thing is that there was not a lot of traffic that day. I just can't seem to get my shit together.

@Momma: We are planning an excursion your way soon!

@Buddha_Girl: Convoluted is DEF the way to describe it. Blech.

@CMGD: Yeah. Target.com does not help me when I am IN the car. Smartass.

@CiHV: I’ve worked out the meaning of “misogynistic” by context but what’s the etymology? (Chuckles to herself)

Krysta said...

my husband would love if i would get lost before getting to target.

Chris in Happy Valley said...

f. Gr. mīsogúnēs, f. mīso-, comb. form of mīsein hate + gúnē woman;

Kiss my grits.