Best CL Ad You'll Ever Read

There seems to be a bit of need for levity today. This is an ad I saw about a year ago. It was flagged and deleted post-haste, but I still had it open in a different window and was able to save it. I wish I'd met the guy:

Bring me a bottle and take home my crap!
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Date: 2007-01-05, 3:11PM PST

Everything is FREE and whoever wants it first gets it... however I will take the bribe of alcohol much more serious, and will wait for that bribe.

I have a bunch of stuff that I am giving away FREE with a slight exception. I am looking to get some Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, and Jose Cuervo Tequila, or any other tasty alcoholic beverages to trade. I am having a small get together and would rather not have to go and buy it myself so I figured that I would list all the stuff I was going to get rid of and take the highest bid of drink for each item. I am looking to get rid of this stuff by tomorrow so let the offers start. Don't want to trade alcohol... what do you want to trade?

I have a 10' X 10' Patio cover that got blown off the patio and bent up. It's crap to us but for a couple bottles of Captain it's yours!

OOOhhh a woman's mountain bike with a couple flat tires, nothing else wrong with it and no, it has not been sitting out in the weather till this last week.

BBQ anyone? No tank but I had just replaced the burners with cast iron and new heat rocks. Other than a cleaning and the fact that all but one wheel is broken it cooks great!

6ft white vinyl fence pieces about 2 sections worth.

A brass Chandler just replaced for a nicer one. These sell new for a whopping $35 at home depot... I'm sure its worth at least a six pack of some tasty malt liquor beverage!

A car top roof cargo container! Pretty big, one of the latches is broken but it still works and locks fine.

OOOhhh a 21 inch monitor! It started giving only half a screen every so often so I replaced it... it could just need to be adjusted!

A well used dart board, still works great I just got a new one for Christmas! Now it was only worth $10 so a bottle or two of any tasty beer would be cool!

Tired of letting the dog or cat out? Well with this sliding glass door insert you won't have to any more! It's about 6.5 feet tall and adjustable. It has a plastic flap that could be cleaned and the glass and weather striping is in great shape. You could buy a new one for $85 and up... or alcohol could solve your problem!

Electric smoker that's been sitting outside for a while now... not sure if I have the power cord but you could always use it with charcoal I guess!

A hose reelie thingy. Its kind of wobbly, but a hose would still reel up and the wheels probably still work... kind of!

One black Sharp mini stereo system, with three disk cd changer and dual tape deck. Although one of the tape decks will not stay closed. And I had the remote but lost it... if I find it I'll email whoever gets it to come get the remote! Sounds great and has a X-Bass button! Woo! Both speakers work and are included!

A gas powered craftsman weed eater! Was given to me by someone not mechanicly inclined saying it just stopped starting... I never looked at it... your turn!

Last but not least one more mini stereo system. It's a RCA with 3 disk changer, preset EQ, and SUPER BASS button. It also sports a dual tape deck system that works! No remote. Two cool looking speakers! Only problem is that I think the right output is blown because that side sounds like crap. Although it is the system I have been using in my bar in the garage so its not that bad I guess.

Best offer takes it... I do want it gone today or tomorrow latest so if you cant make it to Fernley don't bother emailing me unless I change this message! I have pictures of everything. The small picket fence in the picture is not the fence!