Saturday, March 29, 2008

Those Sneaky Koreans

Today I had the pleasure of hosting Crazy LandLady, Chief HandyMan, and his buddy Sketchy SideKick. They were here for eleven hours.

You heard me.

I could write a book about the craziness I endured today. Instead I will share the choicest morsel.

Our neighbor has a new wooden fence in his backyard. New as in within the past 2-3 years. When he installed his fence, someone made the decision to take the chain-link fence on our property down. They did so by taking a saw and sawing the metal posts off at ground level.

This means every three to four feet we have jagged hunks of metal sticking up out of the ground.

Part of our fix-it punch list was to take care of this safety hazard. Chief HandyMan looked at them, kicked them a few times and said that he would hammer them into the ground.

Huh. Good luck with that dude.

Crazy LandLady looks at these hacked-off fence posts, gestures to the neighbor's house and says, You know, there used to be Koreans living in that house.


What in the name of all that is holy does that have to do with the fence posts on her property?

I happen to have met this particular neighbor already and know the history of his house. I happen to know Crazy LandLady is full of shit.

However, even if she weren't, what the fuck do Koreans have to do with anything? The fence posts are on this property. Apparently she thinks Koreans sneak out of their houses in the middle of the night and chop down your fence posts while you sleep.

I feel it is my duty to pass along this new-found piece of wisdom: If you have Koreans move in next door, put motion detector lights in your backyard or you make wake up to find your fence missing.


Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Perhaps Crazy Landlady is related to the mom of one of my son's ex-friends. She told me once how she had enrolled both of her children in a summer class that taught manners and etiquette. "And the teacher..." she changed her voice to a whisper and enunciating every letter,
"is black". Zounds! What did she expect me to do? Express my outrage?
I calmly told her that all the black people I was friends with were quite well-mannered and any one of them could teach her sons a thing or two.

Stupid twat.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Eleven fucking hours? You're shitting me. OMFG. I'm so very sorry, hon. And those Koreans? I hear that besides stealing and hacking off fence posts in the middle of the night? That they also hack off the heads of daffodils. Seriously. I think I saw that on Wikipedia....

Miss you, hon! Blog you next week! :-)

buddha_girl said...

1. They sawed off the fucking posts at land level and left they fucking there????????????

2. Why did CrazyLandLady not speak up? Why did whoever was in that house at the time not speak up? They're the ones to blame. Not those nameless, faceless, post-planting supposed Koreans.

3. I honestly think you are serving time in purgatory for some sin you'll commit later in life. You're banking time right now.

4. Make sure the sin you commit is a hot one and that I'm with you at the time. Got that? We could do some serious damage.

5. Perhaps murder your CrazyLandLady?

Chris in Oxford said...

I used to work with a Korean woman who was very odd. But I've known many more crazy-ass landpeople than I have Korean fence manglers. Just my experience.

aithne said...

So Koreans not only sneak out at night and steal your fencing, but they leave jagged fence posts in which to trip you and shred out your jugular veins?

Is that what Crazy Landlady meant?

Oh my. I want to hear more about her

Kat said...

LOL. What a stupid cow.
(The landlady, not you.)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@BvB: Not only did you remain calm, but you tried to educate her. That is really something. You rock!

@CMGD: Yes, eleven hours and they had to COME BACK today. They were here for HOURS. Good lord in heaven.

@Buddha_Girl: The sin will be a good one! And I won't be wasting it on her! LOL She owned the property at the time, so SHE is the one who gave the go-ahead to remove the fencing. She's just a moron. A sad moron, at that. She makes her own bad luck through constant poor choices.

@CiO: I hear ya, man.

@aithne: Yeah, she is my TTM. At least you got rid of yours.

@Kat: LOL She's Indian, so I don't know how she'd feel about that cow comment. LOL

Bregh said...

When I saw the header of this blog, I swear it could have been mine. Sometimes I wish I hadn't made my blog so 'out there' so that everyone knew about it. My family reads it, my husband's family etc... ugh. I find myself censoring myself all the time and it's getting on my nerves.

Maybe I need to create a 'let it all out' blog too :P

Betsey Booms said...

Writing that one down now.