Saturday, February 9, 2008

I Hope My Neighbor Is A Slut

Yes, that's right. As we look for places in NewCity, I can only hope that I befriend the neighborhood slut.

When we lived in Redneck Large Metro Area, we had a girl living next door. Single mom. Really sweet. Low self-esteem. Kinda messed up. She would fuck date these guys for about a month or two, some drama would ensue, and we'd never see them again.

Because of her revolving door, we got our plumbing fixed, electrical issues taken care of, and cable spliced and installed all over the house for practically nothing. We would offer to pay the guys, but they would usually cut us an awesome deal because they knew they'd get a piece of ass for helping us out.

So, here's to forging new relationships with new neighbors.

9 comments:

Military Mom said...

Your a riot! Maybe you should just wish your new neighbors are plumbers or electricians! All the benefit, minus the drama!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Damn, I never thought of that. That might work, too.

buddha_girl said...

Hmmm...I'm hoping your new neighbors consist of two divorced males who got the kids. I hope that one's a plumber while the other's an electrician.

I hope they both travel semi-short distances so I can get my shit taken care of for free as well. I'll provide tutoring and ass-kicking in exchange for their services at both YOUR and MY homes!

Is that too much to ask for, dammit?

buddha_girl said...

PS

Lorna, the other wife in my family, knows how to dig a ditch. She can do the whole Loch Ness thing while you and I sit on our arses and call out directions. Perhaps she'll snag a good man in the process. You know how boys like chicks who can dig ditches and such.

love bites said...

Or, you could hope you move in next door to me, and I'd help you fix your shit, sans the rotating man pool.

;)

(single moms rock)

Plus, I'd let you borrow my tools. ;)

Crys said...

I wish I lived next door to a slut!!

love bites said...

By the way, your blog design looks about ten million times better than it did when you got spanked...ahem...reviewed.

aithne said...

Gosh! Never thought of that! Maybe I should have befriended the Trailer Trash Mama after all!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@buddha_girl: I will make sure you are on the fix-it list if I find a good person!

@love bites: You'd let me borrow your tools? Hell, that kind of bonding usually only comes with bra-shopping or gyn appointments. I'm flattered. And I promise I'd give them back in even better condition than you loaned them to me.

@aithne: You know, that could be the silver lining to having TTM move back in across the street.