Friday, August 31, 2007

Why I'm Praying For a Male BC Pill

My husband and I have discussed this at length over the past few months. Well, more of my standing on a soap box and him nodding, wide-eyed with fear.

Now that I have a son, I am praying for male birth control.

I want my son to have choices. I want him to have the same options his sister does. We will definitely teach him to "keep his hat on", but I also want him to have the security of knowing that HE is in charge of his fertility.

Since I have become a mother, I have been shocked at how many moms I have met who got pregnant on the pill. A LOT of it has had to do with user error. Whether they screwed up on purpose or not is often in question. Not always, but often.

I want my son to have the CHOICE to become a father. I see the joy in my husband's face with our own kids, and I cannot imagine my son being deprived of that same right. I cannot imagine what a nightmare it would be for him to find out that a girl was pregnant with his child, and that she would either give that child (MY grandchild) up for adoption without his knowing until after the fact or never letting our family see that baby without a fight.

Am I being overly dramatic? Yes, I am. Do father's have rights? Sometimes. I see it happening every day around me, and it scares the hell out of me. This is a totally selfish worry on my part because I would not want my grandchild raised by someone else. My "christian" and "Catholic" family has had a history of forcing the mother to give their babies away. In the name of the baby having a better life? Bullshit. To save face for the family.

So while we are going to hammer into our son the value of keeping it in his pants, eventually, he will not. Whether he is 18 or 38, I want him to have the option of fatherhood. So if he hooks up one night, and nine months later he gets hauled onto the Maury show for a paternity test, he can say, "No way, baby. I am on the pill. "


Blue Momma said...

I'm all for a male pill!

But as a woman, I'd never trust anyone else as the provider of our sole method of birth control. Even if my husband was willing to take it and wanted no more children, his dumb ass would forget it about half of the time!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That's why he could get the shot every three months instead! LOL

No, I agree. I like having the control in my hands, and I'll bet there are some men who wish it were in there hands as well. That Friends episode about the condoms and their efficiency when Rachel got preggo was hilarious.

Pamela said...

Oh my---what I would give to see male BC before my stepson is grown---or before I have any boys of my own. Throughout your whole post, I just kept nodding my head.

Fertility is totally in control of the woman. Yes--the man can always make sure to either a)keep it in his pants or b)always wear a condom (like you so elegantly pointed out) but both of those methods aren't as foolproof as pills or depo or any other option that women have available to them.

I USED to live by the mantra of "It takes two to tango"---but now that I've had years of bc experience (no kids) and seen many women around me 'accidentally' get preggers because they take their bc carelessly (whether intentionally or otherwise) I have started to change my thinking. It may take two to tango---but women definitely lead in this fertility dance.

I do hope the male bc does come along! Then BOTH people can have the control in their hands.