WonderGirl: Keys

We all have moments of brilliance, and we all have moments of stupidity. Big, giant, HUGE moments of stupidity. Just admit it.

That is all I ask of people. If you have a moment of stupidity, just laugh about it and say so. We've all been there. We will respect you a lot more if you just say, "Hey! Can you believe I just..." Then we can all sit down have a beer and a chuckle. Usually, if it is a particularly good goof-up, others will chime in with similar mishaps.

Alas, there are those who walk among us who just cannot admit that they screwed up. Everything is either someone else's fault, or it just didn't really happen.

Take a person in my life, I will call her WonderGirl. I call her that because I really think she goes through life wondering what the fuck is going on. To this day she still cannot seem to understand the connection between her actions and their consequences.

In the most recent installment of the soap opera that is her life, WonderGirl called her parents in the middle of the night, in a panic, because she could not find her car keys. She had fallen asleep in a recliner in the house, woken up, then literally ran around the house and in the yard looking for the keys. She says she looked in the recliner, but she could not find them and ended up borrowing her parents vehicle for three days.

Here is the kicker. When I followed up with the story:

Her car had been unlocked the entire time, and it never occurred to her to actually look in her vehicle

She says she spent three days tearing the house apart looking for said keys

When she finally found them, her story began with an absolutely dead-serious, "Now you can't laugh at me," and only upon agreement were we told that the keys were eventually found in the recliner.

Here's what I don't get. Why not just say, "Oh my god!! You are NEVER going to believe this!..." and tell the story and we all could have had a good laugh about it and been done with it.

This woman is in her thirties, folks. So instead of having a brilliant opportunity to swap stories about getting locked out of houses, telling of all the times we had lost our keys and had to break into our cars, we were instead asked to be sworn to secrecy over how she had lost and then found the keys. And Shhhhhhhh...don't tell anybody!!

Um, okay. I won't.