Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Stick To Your Morals

I have an old school friend who went, as I see it, psycho religious on me after high school. She is Catholic, married a Catholic guy--and they are now ├╝berCatholics. One of my last conversations with her was back in 1998 or 1999. She'd just had her second child, and I asked the standard question, "So, are you guys done with two?"

You would have thought I had asked her to eat her own fecal matter. "You know we don't have a choice," she said.

"Huh?" was my eloquent response.

She continued:
As Catholics, you know we do not have a choice as to how many children we have. We are going to have as many children as God gives us.

Holy fuck. At that point, I didn't know any real life Catholics who felt that way. I mean, I had read that there were people out there like that, but a girl my age? And she was so sincere, so genuine in her belief. And that was fine. I did not take too kindly to the preachy, high-and-mighty tone she took with me, but I can certainly live and let live.

Until now. Just got wind of her via a mutual friend. Said friend has just had her fifth baby, and they have decided they are done at five.

WHAT!!! WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!?! You freaking hypocrite!! She sat there on her goddamned high horse and preached to me how god is in control. Now that she feels overwhelmed with five children, she has decided that she has had enough!?! How unbelievably convenient. How dare she come down on me and others for their choice in family structure then suddenly, all these years later "decide" she is done. No way.

If one has a "moral compass" (or whatever the current terminology is), and judges us with it--you need to stick to it yourself. It is not for you to pick and choose. That is what we heathens do.

It will never happen, but I want to hear why the sudden change of heart. Why suddenly it is okay for her to be in charge of her fertility when, seven years ago the mere thought of it was practically a sin. I am not looking for an apology, but I want to hear that she admits she was wrong. In a perfect world I want to hear what her thought processes are, and if she is indeed now accepting of the fact that she and her husband control their actions. I want to hear the mea culpa, that it was wrong for her to pass judgment on all of us. She is obviously no better.

Well, maybe I do want an apology.


Anonymous said...

Oy, have I mentioned I have a friend who CONVERTED to Catholicism just a few years back? She was raised Southern Baptist...and SHE believes the same as your friend!!! OMG!