Monday, April 12, 2010

Sly Bitch Recognition

When I studied abroad and stayed with the Dragon Lady and her family, she made fresh-squeezed orange juice every morning. My roommate and I would sit at the little cafe table in her kitchen eating our yogurt and chatting of the day to come. The Dragon Lady would chat with us, squeeze our orange juice and hand each of us a delicious glass of sunshine.

It took me a few weeks to realize that some mornings, the juice tasted awful. There was Turns out that anytime I left the kitchen during breakfast instead of squeezing my juice she would fill the rest of the glass with water so she wouldn't have to use up her oranges on us. Since my roommate and I shared a bathroom, we were often up and down several times during the course of a meal trying to juggle the application of our morning glam.

One day, I was sitting in the little kitchen when my roomie breezed in and announced the bathroom was free. Relieved, I jumped up to take my turn. My chair was pushed back, I was poised to leave the room when I remembered: The juice. She is going to chince me on my juice.

I turned back around to sit down and said that I would wait until after I was done eating. As I reseated myself, my eyes met that of my host mother. There was a flash between us. She knew that I knew. Without missing a beat she kept on halving and squeezing the oranges. I sat down and finished my breakfast. That was probably the tastiest glass of orange juice I had that summer.


jayna said...

That is awesome. Just picturing the exchange made laugh out loud.

(needed a bit of a laugh tonight, so thanks :-)

Rassles said...

What a hoe-bag. Gimme my juice, bitch. Although, I mean, I totally understand. Stupid little girls. Mackin' on my OJ.

Did you buy her a bag of oranges?

Patois said...

Oh, how I love those moments of recognition.

Brilliantly told, that one.

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

That shit ain't cheap, yo! I've never had a glass of fresh orange juice. I'm too cheap/lazy to do so, and while I know my wife loves me... she doesn't love me THAT much.

Blues said...

Oh hell yeah, go NATUI.

My cousin is on a study abroad here in Spain and came to visit me for the weekend. The poor thing was craving protein of any kind. She said the most protein she would see was tiny scraps of ham in a soup like once a week. And she told me how her host brother would make himself a hamburger every night after dinner and no one would ever offer her one. Fucking tightwads. I was really lucky on my study abroad in that way.