Monday, January 11, 2010

Too Much Perspective

I could blather on about my ear infection this weekend. Or the shite weather we've been having. Or the high-pitch timbre of my children's whines.

But I won't.

Because one of the moms at our preschool died over the weekend. Her son is in my daughter's class. She was sick, but it is still awful. A shock to the senses. Our weekend has been filled with furtive conversations out of little-kid earshot. Those poor kids. That poor man. How we bust our asses to do right by our children. Give them nutritious food. Take them to dance lessons. Teach them sports. And just like that, one parent is gone. How much will this little boy remember in a year? In two?

The dad came in behind me this morning at drop-off. He brought his son to class. Normalcy, I suppose. Our eyes met, we said good morning. And the chasm of grief in his eyes was so deep I was afraid I might never climb out. And if that is how I feel, I cannot fathom the depths of his pain. His loss.

Happy Monday, everyone.

10 comments:

Titanium said...

My heart goes out to that family.

Thank you for offering a perspective on a Monday- it sets everything straight.

Mirth said...

I cannot even imagine having to go through that pain. Hopefully that dad has a good support system in place to help him and his son through. Thanks for the reminder that life isn't always what we plan it to be.

A Free Man said...

That's one of my biggest fears because I can't imagine anything worse.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Titanium: But sometimes perspective suck, huh.

@Mirth: From what I understand, he has family nearby and tons of help. I'm sure that helps, but not enough.

@AFM: I know what you're saying. And it's too close to home.

only a movie said...

Ack

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, wow. I think about this proposal Ty is writing and how it's sucked, but that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. That poor father has no light.

Gad, hon. I haven't the words.

Cristin said...

No words here.

RiverPoet said...

"The chasm of grief" is what you'd see in my eyes, too. I saw it reflected back at me last night when I saw my ex for the first time in many months. We have both been through hell. Whether you lose a spouse or a child or a parent, there is a long road of grief ahead. All that dad can do is walk it. You can be there by just saying good morning and asking if there is anything you can do (food, etc.) Imagine the void that has been left in his home.

It's good to be back reading you again.

Peace - D

Jennifer said...

Yep. It is awful :( We are all pitching in and the funeral is later today (as i write this at 2am) i haven't slept well since it happened- we are all in a stupor.
It does put things into perspective.
A month ago we were discussing a book at book club and she was due to come on Friday-to the one scheduled on, what ended up being- the day she passed away.
Every time i think about the kids ==so very young- i just want to ball up into a heap. It is just too much to think about. We set up playdates and pretend it is all normal. I know that is the best thing- but as a parent- it makes u think - am i doing the things i should, the things i want them to remember? Am I leaving an impression? Are they getting everything they need and want from me? Can I say yes more than no?

ugh

Patois said...

Damn.