Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Let That Be Enough

There is a Swedish character trait that translates into Swedish Jealousy. The idea that one never pats themselves on the back. One never celebrates an accomplishment. Promotions and good fortune are not looked upon as something to celebrate. There is an undercurrent of jealousy. Of bitterness. Everything must be equal. It may be changing in the younger generation, but my husband and I often talk about it with Scandinavians our own age living abroad. Of how much they hate that attitude. I suppose that is why so many of them married foreigners.

I am struggling with the fine line between ambition and satisfaction. There are areas of my life I fear will never be whole. Voids that feel so deep they might never be filled. I hate it. So many of our lives are but a ladder to another level. High school-->College-->Grad School. Job #1-->promotion-->promotion. Marriage-->children-->infertility-->???

When are we allowed to plateau? When are we allowed to just be? Not to subsist because we are biding our time for the next climb, but to just sit and enjoy the level to which we have come?

It brings to mind several of my favorite songs. Would I spend forever here, and not be satisfied? (S. McLachlan) The horror of having spent an entire lifetime living completely unsatisfied. Unfulfilled.

Then there is Let me know that you hear me. Let me know your touch. Let me know that you love me. Let that be enough. (Switchfoot) To let that relationship be enough. To stop seeking because you have found that person, and you see it. Recognize it.

I don't want my children to feel they are in a rush to that next pinnacle. I want them to enjoy their journey. Maybe sit awhile. There is always another obstacle. Another summit. I want them to know that enough can be enough. Not because they are lacking. Not because they have failed, but because they enjoy where they are. What they are. Who they are.

Let it be enough.


only a movie said...

Nicely done.

A Free Man said...

You're allowed to just be whenever you want. Go for it.

So Not Wishy Washy said...

This was beautiful. Just absolutely beautiful. Your children and Hubbie are so very lucky to have you in their lives.

Lil said...

Good points that you bring up. I struggle with this, too. I'm a 39 year old woman, never married (nor do I want to be), don't have (nor want) kids. My friends don't get it that I enjoy being single, I like doting on their kids but not having my own. It's like I'm not complete in society's eyes unless I have a husband/life partner/whatever and children. But what if I don't want those things? What if I'm happy just being what I am now? Let me revel in my "spinsterhood" and enjoy it - because I do. Basically, what I'm saying is I get this post. Thank you. :-)

Cristin said...

so well put.

I need to tuck this post away and revisit it when I need it.. and I do need to hear this. I know I have enough, am enough, more than enough... thanks for the reminder

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@onlyamovie: Thanks!

@FreeMan: Yes, the solution is to just do it, but how often do we remember?

@WishyWashy: It's hard to give myself credit sometimes. I need to get better at it.

@Lil: I think our friends and family must have a tough go of it. If they are concerned about us, but does that concern root from their own insecurities or a genuine desire to see us happy?

@Creepy: Glad to remind you. Now, and for when you pull this out in the future. :)

Gypsy said...

Now that you mention it, I can't really imagine not working toward some goal, some elusive "better." Interesting.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. I always feel like I'm rushing, that I've got to get somewhere. It would be nice to just be.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Wow. I'm going to have to think on this one for a while. Stew on it. Hmmm.....

BTW, great post. :)