Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Heavy Heart and A Smirk On My Face

Thank you so much to everyone who has left kind words and lighted their candles. It means so much. I have lived ten lifetimes since I posted Friday night.

The more we pondered the situation and the answers my uncle had given us, the less sense the story made. How can one be cremated less than 24 hours after death? The logistics were not adding up. What about the death certificate? And the paperwork? There is always paperwork.

I started digging Friday evening. Digging and making phone calls. We had begun to question several aspects of the story.

I cold called until I found the right hospital. Oh yes I did.

At least that part of the story was true. My grandmother did go to the hospital. I got the names of all the nurses and staff so I can send them a thank you card for taking care of my Gramma in her final moments. I learned Saturday that no one from the family was there when she died. My uncle didn't show up until after she was dead. He came to sign the paperwork and left. I can't tell you how that pains me.

I dug around* until I found out the name of the mortuary to which she had been sent. I called. It was midnight my time, and I called thinking I would leave a message. The funeral director answered.

I don't have the strength to go into the actual conversation. The good news? She has not yet been cremated. My uncle? Had conveniently neglected to mention he had any siblings. By law, my father must sign off on the paperwork.

My uncle had convinced my dad not to fly out until Thursday. Once he heard my news, he changed his flight to Monday.

My uncle is pissed. I, on the other hand, have gone to bed each night with a heavy heart and a smirk on my face. We may never sort out all of his nefarious activities, but I sure as shit caught him on this one. Gotcha. Motherfucker.

As it stands, my mother, father and I are all flying to Salt Lake City tomorrow to take care of business. By law, my father has to identify his mother's body. This means Tuesday, for 10 minutes, we get to pay our respects. That's all we get, but I'll take it. I am going to support my father. I am going out of respect for my grandmother. I am going to apologize to the funeral director for disturbing his house in the middle of the night. I am going to miss her so much.

*Details are omitted to protect the innocent and helpful


Avitable said...

Oh, that's some good news - nice investigative work on your part. I'm glad that you'll be able to get some closure.

SSG said...

I'm glad you get to pay your last respects and your disrespectful uncle doesn't get everything his way.

Irrational Dad said...

Very glad for you guys. I don't wanna get all CSI on you, but this just sounds... fishy. Is (was) there going to be an autopsy? I don't want to suggest that your uncle may have found himself in need of money, but it just sounds weird.

Mouthy Girl said...

Oh I love it when a plan works out - FOR YOU! Good job digging. Great job catching that fucker in the act of BREAKING THE LAW.

He lied.
He's caught.

And. What Joe said.

Anonymous said...

This is just so weird.

My father was a funeral director for many years, and I talked to him about this. He said pretty much the same thing your very kind funeral director did. I am so glad that you'll have this chance to pay your respects regarding her physical remains.

Just try not to smirk too much . . .

Mrs. Booms said...

I just caught up on all of this.

Thank goodness you got persistent. My heart goes out to you.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

See, this? Is why I love you and why we're friends. I'm glad you dug around and found out what went on. And that's the funeral director's job. They're there 24/7 to take the 3AM phone calls to pick up our loved ones. :) Hope your uncle "enjoys" his comeuppance.

I'll give you a ring ASAP. I love you, hon.

The Van Goat Ranch said...

I'm so sorry you've had to go through such trauma at what would already be a difficult time. And...I lit the candle and I don't mean any disrespect but..........
break your foot off in his ass. You rule. Bless you.
(and what Joe said.)

A Free Man said...

Good on you, Detective NATUI. NATUI, P.I.

Wishing you and yours a safe trip on a sad occasion.

RiverPoet said...

You go girl. You go.

I thought it was awfully suspicious that a cremation could be done that fast. Hell, it didn't happen that fast for US! So glad you didn't give up.

Love ya - D

Jenifer August said...

WTF! Holy crap! I wish I could punch your uncle in the head! What a MOFO!

I am proud of you- I wondered how in the world a cremation would be done that fast!

I so hope kharma takes care of his sorry ass!

Gypsy said...

I just want to yell, "Go you!" I'm so glad you did some digging. I hope... well, I don't know what I hope. I guess I hope he doesn't get away with anything.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Avitable: It felt DAMN good, let me tell ya.

@SSG: Me too. It was so important for me for my dad to pay his respects the way HE needed to.

@Joe: Don't worry. We felt the same way. There was no autopsy, but having found out info from the hospital confirmed the heart attack. Now, the cause of the heart attack may be a different matter entirely.

@BuddhaGirl: Yeah, he is a fucker. No two ways about it.

@Tysdaddy: My uncle wasn't there, and I was so glad. There was no smirking whatsoever. Those moments were about her, and I was glad my uncle was not there to ruin it.

@BetseyBooms: Good to see you man. Thank you for your compassion.

@CMGD: Sorry we haven't talked yet. But thank you so much for your texts. They helped so much.

@VanGoat: I thought about you candle and everyone elses while standing by my grandmother. It gave me amazing power.

@AFM: NATUI, P.I. I like it. I won't do the 'stache though.

@RiverPoet: Suspicion is God's way of telling us something isn't right.

@JenniferAugust: I believe in karma alright. I am going to sit back and wait.

@Gypsy: Me too! LOL I walked around singing "He Fucking Hates Me" :)