Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Adult Orthodontics

Adults with braces creep me out.

Now, I am all about people improving their appearance. I am also well aware of the fact that many kids could not get braces because their parents couldn't afford orthodontic care, and they are now doing it themselves as adults.

Total kudos to them, just don't make me look at you when you are talking.

There is a woman at the preschool who has the clear "invisible" braces (like we don't notice the wires or the braces pout, but whatever). She must be nearly ready to have them off because her teeth look great, but I can't help staring at her mouth every time I see her talk.

I don't know if it's because it makes her appearance so juvenile or that fact that I have met her several times and think she is a bitch who can't take care of her kids. Either way, watching her talk makes me want to poke her in the mouth and see if her gums stick to her brackets.

It also makes me wonder if her husband put a moratorium on blow jobs until she gets them taken off.

I know Americans have an obsession with even, white teeth. But where do we draw the line?


random_mommy said...


I had braces as a teenager, then my teeth shifted, so I had them as an adult. But since I'm so vain, I paid extra to have them placed on the backs of my teeth... hurt like a son of a bitch, but no one ever knew!! Maybe that's the solution! Look up lingual braces... you will see that there is NO blowjobs in the near future!

RiverPoet said...

Aw, I had braces in my late 30s. It wasn't because of vanity, though, it was because of TMJ so bad that I had stage III deterioration of my jaw. Since I got the teeth straightened, I don't have that awful jaw popping, the pain, or the various other problems that went along with it.

The last 18 months I was in the Invisalign braces, though, which you completely cannot see--no brackets, no wires. That was much better. I ended up with those because I developed an allergy to the nickel in the wires of traditional braces.

Trust me, if I'd had a choice, I would have left my teeth as they were. I was so embarrassed of the braces!

Peace - D

A Free Man said...

The bj line is a great one!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Random_Mommy: I confess that I still wear my retainers several times a month to keep my teeth from shifting. They are 18 years old. That's vanity for ya! LOL As for the lingual braces, I've had friends get them and holy cow have I heard they hurt.

@RiverPoet: Ah damn. I KNEW one of my readers was going to have a personal story. Sorry. :( I'm glad you no longer have the jaw popping, but I am sorry you had to go through all of that.

@A_Free_Man: Sadly, she looks the type that wouldn't except for anniversaries, birthdays and a new beemer. But then again, it's always the ones you never suspect.

SSG said...

man I've never had braces. I'm british. and my teeth suck. Actually i had a wack-job brace for a year when I was 10 or something as my dentist took out a tooth, didnt have one in stock to fill the gap, so just pulled one of my other tooths into the space instead using a brace. That's british dentistyr for you... functional not aesthetic, unless you want to pay shit loads and go private. no sireeeeeee

random_mommy said...

I wear my retainer every night on top, and had a permanent one cemented in on bottom! I refuse to have crooked teeth after $10,000 or more dollars of hard earned money spent on them!

ssg- Is that why British teeth are so... well, you know...

Gypsy said...

I had braces in middle school. I never wore my rubber bands, nor did I wear the retainer. Talk about money down the drain.

I do find those Invisalign things interesting, though.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I'm with you! Remember when Tom Cruise got braces a few years ago? I mean, he was already weird but that made him even more strange.

Blue Momma said...

Ok, I have invisalign now and I'm definitely in the "adult" (old) category. I never had braces as a child, but said what the hell and went for it now.

I didn't, however, know there was a blow job exemption in place - and that really pisses me off!!!!

Any news???

Joe said...

My parents couldn't afford to get me braces... luckily, I don't "really" need them, so I won't be an adult with a brace-face.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@SSG: Holy shit, that IS British dentistry for you!

@Random_Mommy: Thank god I have a mini-stabilizing bar behind my two front teeth. I grit my teeth at night when I am stressed and it puts a lot of pressure on my bite. And your reason for wearing your retainers is exactly why I still wear mine.

@Gypsy: I will be blogging about adolescent stubbornity and braces sometime soon.

@CMGD: Dude, I had TOTALLY forgotten about that.

@Blue_Momma: I am glad you have them. There's no reason you shouldn't make yourself feel better with something as easy as braces. Do they hurt a lot? And no news, btw.

@Joe: I needed them. Badly. My dad used to affectionately call me "snaggle-tooth" if that tells ya anything. Nice term of endearment, eh?

Bluestreak said...

hilarious. they totally creep me out too (sorry adults with braces, but it is creepy).