Moron Monday: Cat? What Cat?

Had a friend over for a playdate today with her kids. I was in and out of the house getting snacks, drinks, diapers. The works.

I sit down for a breather, and LittleBird shrieks Look Mamma! A kitty!

I look along our back fence line. Oh yeah! I say, That is a kitty!

Squint the eyes, then widen them in horror.

Wait a minute. That's our cat!!!

I jump up and book it barefoot across our backyard. My fucker of a cat slips between the fences and into our neighbor's yard. No amount of coaxing, muttered threats or swearing will get her to come near me.

I walk back across the lawn to where my friend is sitting. Isn't your cat allowed outside? she asked.

Um, no. They don't go out. Ever.

Oh, she said. LittleMan has been pointing at the cat walking around the yard while you were in the house and saying Kitty! Kitty!

Seriously? Don't you think that might have been pertinent information to tell me when I came back outside? The fact that my almost two year old can figure out something is wrong, but you don't seem to have a clue?

Moron. Total fucking moron.

She's still my friend. We'll still have playdates. But what a dumbass. Seriously.