The Man In the Van

I wrote this quite some time ago. Somehow, it got buried in draft mode, but I still find it to be an important question I ask of myself.

Just needed a place to get this out.

I believe there is a man living in our garage. In his van. Or someone's van. I believe he used to be my next-door neighbor with a bunch of other ski bums (I use that term lovingly--bc that is really their lifestyle. Work odd jobs all summer, ski and snowboard all winter) who basically got kicked out a few months ago. The van is still in our community garage, and my husband and I have over the past few months noticed evidence that there must be someone living in it.

I saw him again today when I came home from a play date. Though I rarely see him, he was as nice as always, we said hello to each other and quipped about how cold it has been lately. I could see inside the van (it is one of the white 1970's Dodge hippie vans) that he had a side table with a coffee mug on it and bedding on the floor.

One part of me feels like I should report him to the condo association. What if he is an unsafe person? But the stronger part of me says who am I to get him booted from the only shelter he obviously has? What is the difference if he used to live next door to us in the apartment, and now he is living next to my car? There are very few people who even live in our condoplex. Most of them are empty save a few weekends a year.

I just feel bad for the guy. Sometimes I feel like I should bang on the door and offer him a cup of coffee, but being the mom of two little ones all by myself during the day--I don't really want to get involved. I don't mean that to sound harsh or that I don't care about his situation, but I have been burned trying to help others in the past, and right now my safety and that of my children is paramount. I guess for now I will just be complicit in his new digs and hope that my trust in him and his situation and my faith in god and humanity is correct.

It makes me sad that being a parent has made me think twice about helping people. I want to teach my children to help others. To not be selfish. But where does one draw the line between helping others and protecting oneself from a situation that could turn out badly?

The film Silence of the Lambs always comes to mind. How that man tricked the girl into the van by taking advantage of her kindness. I remember how horrified I was to see that scene. It had never occurred to me that someone would take advantage of generosity to do such evil.

I was not worried that this poor kid in the van was a serial killer, but being a woman with two little ones makes me very vulnerable getting in and out of cars. Or in and out of my house.

I never did tell on the guy. It just didn't seem right. We continued to say hello and banter back and forth. Eventually, the landlord rented to another family and the van was towed.

Wherever he is now, I hope he is warm. I hope he is safe and well fed. He is somebody's son, you know? I wish him well.