Friday, May 16, 2008

I Didn't Sign Up For This Shit

My son will need therapy.

No one told me that potty training a boy would be that different than potty training a girl.

What a naive moron I am.

One key potty training trick I learned was to take warm water in a cup and pour it on the, ahem, front of the child. The sound and feeling of the water helps give the child the idea of what you want them to do.

The first time I tried it with LittleMan he was less than thrilled.

Today was a completely different ballgame.

He sat on the toilet, yanking and pointing and telling me all about his penis. Yeah, good job dude. I know what it is. I know what it does.

I saw a cup on the sink and thought I'd try the water trick again.

Well, he loved it. LOVED. It.

More Mamma. More Mamma.

He wanted me to pour cup after cup of water on him--even using the baby sign for more which he has not done in ages.

He leaned back on the seat, lounging like a pimp. With the biggest erection a 20-month old can muster.

That's just wrong, man.

My son is going to need therapy. I think I am going to as well.

12 comments:

Momma said...

LMAO!!!!!

Yes, potty training boys is different. My son, in his little Asperger's way, decided that he had to be 3 years old before he could be potty-trained. And? Right on the dot of three years old, he "got" it.

Clearly you need a new tactic with LittleMan. :-)

(still giggling) - D

Jay said...

ROFL!!! Yeah, maybe a different approach is needed here!

I only had boys, and no-one suggested the water trick. Clearly, this is exactly why!

I'm glad I finished my drink before reading that!

Betsey Booms said...

I've got tears in my eyes.

Dudes figure that stuff out uber early. I'm in so much trouble.

Gypsy said...

Thanks. Now I'M going to need therapy. lol

highlander1463 said...

Umm...if you're not busy later...

-P

krishanna said...

LOL! I've never heard of the water trick though that's no news as I've not raised any little people. I've just watched it done. Your kid has his own personal bidet! ROFL! BTW, I tossed up a new post over at my place and redecorated.. ;)XO~ k.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Momma: You know, if it actually made him pee I think I would stick with it. Clearly this time was not a success. Not in my eyes, anyway.

@Jay: Glad you finished your drink too! Cleaning off a laptop screen is a pain in the ass.

@Betsey Booms: Do they ever. When I learn the boy secret I will be sure and pass it along.

@Gypsy: Put it on my tab. ;)

@Highlander: Um, yeah. You need to put that on your Xmas/Bday list for D to take care of. LOL

@Krishanna: Bidets are beautiful thing! Esp. when your daughter loves the bottle they send home from the hospital for "cleansing" after you give birth. It freaked me out a little bit in the beginning, but it really helped with that toddler rankness that gets going. LOL

Kellie said...

Is it wrong that I'm laughing SO hard, I may pee my pants?

.:| Melissa |:. said...

*giggles* had two boys. Been there, done that! The warm water trick, that's an OLD one! Doesn't always work! As you already know! LOL

My daughter was the stubborn one! REFUSED to be potty trained until she was almost 3-1/2. Not that she didn't know how to go on the potty, she just REFUSED to go on the potty! I thought for sure, she'd be 10 years old, and still in diapers!

This is when "pull-ups" first came out too (1990). I learned that they were nothing more than a diaper with NO tabs! Ha!

Even though we (my baby sis and I) used them (pull ups) for potty training my niece (It was a joint effort, because I was babysitting her, daily at the time, and she actually spent more time with me). They were only used for nap time, traveling, and night time.

I went out and bought her some "big girl" panties and told her she CANNOT get them wet or poopy! That would be nasty and dirty! eW! She apparently "got it". We only had a few accidents! ;0)

It was SO much easier with her, than it was with my daughter!! Thank God!

Molly's Mom said...

Oh, holy hell! That is the funniest thing I've heard all day!

Geek Mom said...

Oh.My.Shit.

Im LMAO over here..! I almost spit out my wine!

MommyWizdom said...

OMG(osh) that was funny!!! My son is not quite there yet... but thanks for learning that lesson for me, LOL!