Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Flip-Flops and Mass Transit

Summer is nearly here and footwear is in transition. From all-weather spring shoes to the barely-there flip-flops everyone seems to love, our little piggies are seeing the sun.

At their own peril.

We took the train in to Arlington to give the kids a little adventure. They were so excited to take the train. We could have just gone into the city and back out again, and they would have been thrilled.

Besides Stroller-Pusher, Hand-Holder, and Snack-Packer, one of the MomJobs at this stage of my kids' lives is to be Tissue-Producer. This is particularly important as LittleBird is not one to hide her boogers. Not to my knowledge, anyway. She comes up to me during any manner of odd times to give me a booger. Hell, she wakes me to up hand them over.

So, as we are about to exit the train I hear, "Here Mommy!"

Spotlight one giant booger on the end of her little preschooler finger.

Not missing a beat, I thank her, grab her hand and step off the train.

But what to do?

What else do you do with a booger on your finger?

You flick it, of course.

So, I did.

Right onto the top of someone's bare foot in a flip-flop.

Not intentionally, of course. But the damned thing had a mind of its own and flew straight for the foot like a baseball to a glass window.

In the span of a breath that lasted eternity, the booger hit. Stuck. Then fell off.

Mass Transit Passenger boarded the train. We continued past. No one knew but me. And the booger.


Betsey Booms said...

Oh, the life span of a booger.

This cracked me up.

Mermaid said...

Some things are better not to know...

buddha_girl said...


Buddha is all about his boogs these days as well.

When I read that the booger decided to light on the passenger's foot, I actually gasped out loud. Ya gotta know that it dried and adhered to the tootsie only to be discovered during a shower (hopefully that same evening!).

highlander1463 said...

Boogers are full of dead brain cells you know. So they can be compared to Zombies I guess. Little green Zombies that crawl out of our noses and gather in graveyards and plot to take over the world.

Have a nice day...P

Momma said...

Oh. Dear. God! I laughed until I couldn't catch my breath. Then I forwarded this to my son and told Mr. PL about it. Oh geeeeeez.

I may never wear flip-flops again, not even to the pool. (I hate the things anyway...)


Not Afraid to Use It said...

@BB: A day in the life of a booger. LOL I like it.

@Mermaid: If you are on the receiving end, I absolutely agree. How awful!

@Buddha_Girl: Nah, it fell off. It stuck just long enough for me to feel the blood drain from my face, but them it fell to the concrete. Thank god.

@Highlander: And here I thought they were only good for boosting your immune system by eating them.

@Momma: Glad I gave you a laugh--though I'm sorry about the flip-flop thing. I guess it is good to know the dark side of footwear.

K-Mom said...

Nothing makes me happier than a good booger story!

Bilbo said...

I ride the Metro to and from work every day. Please e-mail me with your travel schedule so I'll know which trains to avoid, so as to remain boogerless.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@K-Mom: Glad I could oblige!

@Bilbo: We are off of the Orange line, but not to worry. I am at home with the kids during the week and rarely venture out on weekends. Your feet are safe.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Secret Booger transactions that only you witness - I LOVE that! Very hilar. Barfingly gross, but hilarious nonetheless.

Blue Momma said...

You are too funny! A booger story is always funny.

Well, if you are the flinger it is funny. I guess the flingee would rather pass....

Punkin is all about boogers, too. In fact, he tried to get one of hubby's one day and hubby ended up with a bloody nose. Fun-eee!!

Love Bites said...

You are a VERY. BAD. PERSON.

And, I love it.

MommyWizdom said...

That was funny. My daughter also feels the need to hand over offending boogers. Fortunately, she hasn't expanded to anyone else's noses, I think.

Not Afraid To Use It said...

@BvB: I figured it was better than her smearing on the window or some other horrid thing.

@Blue Momma: That's pretty cool of your hubs to let him do that. Though I guess after all the time we picked THEIR noses, it is time for payback.

@LoveBites: Nah, not bad. Just horrendously honest. :)

@MommyWizdom: I think I prefer them handing them over to me than my finding their "stash" somewhere. LOL