Overheard in the NATUI bathroom last night...
NATUI is brushing her teeth.
I don't know if you have tracked down my box of pantyliners, but if you come across them let me know because I am going to need them.
Hubbie: They are in the drawer behind you. But there are only a few left and I need them.
NATUI blinks.
You need them?
Hubbie: I have a presentation to give on Thursday, and you know how much I sweat when I am nervous. So, I need them.
NATUI pauses. Blinks again.
What the hell are you going to do? Put them in your armpits?
Hubbie: Yeah. I did that the last time I had a presentation.
NATUI stares.
Then splutters some variant of What the fuck? Have you done this before?
Hubbie continues: I stick them to the inside of my shirt (makes peeling motion and pats his underarm). They work great!
NATUI finds herself speechless and squinting her eyes from trying to comprehend the words coming out of her husband's mouth.
Wha...Whe...When...Whaaaaat?
Hubbie: Yeah, I saw it on Deal or No Deal. Remember when we watched that episode and that guy did the same thing? It was a great idea!
NATUI controls her breathing.
You mean to tell me you saw this on fucking Deal or No Deal, thought it looked like a good idea, and now you take my PANTYLINERS and stick them in your armpits when you have a presentation at work?
Ladies, if you find that you are running low on your menstrual supplies, it is not some mythical pixie coming in and hiding things from you. It is probably your husbands.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Case of the Missing Pantyliners
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14 comments:
Oh sweet Jesus! Can't type... snorting Thin Mint through nose... pain... eyes watering...
I don't have the words. Mr. NATUI, I'm sending you some Secret, right away!
Ok, given - pretty freakin' funny.
But also ingenious - and evolved.
I love that seemingly gender-specific items can be used for other purposes.
That being said, don't expect me to be using jock itch creme on my hoohoo anytime soon.
That's awesome! I don't sweat like that, but if I did, I'd totally use that idea.
Oh, and I'm just horrified that you actually watch Deal or No Deal.
Oh, thank God I don't need those things anymore. My hubby is just SOL!
Peace - D
@CMGD: And Hubbie thanks you kindly!
@BvB: I would bet that would be a good meme--what "gender-specific" items does your spouse use.
@Avitable: Are you kidding me? Tits, legs and morons throwing their financial futures in the toilet? It can't get any better than that.
@Momma: I'm sure your Hubbie has learned to cope. :)
So if my husband has a sudden case of diarrhea, I should hide the tampons? Gotcha!
I have tried really hard to understand "Deal Or No Deal". Just do not get it. Dr. O'C sometimes tries to explain to to me, but I lose interest too quickly.
I have nothing to say about "ladies products".
OH.
MY.
GOD.
We are officially soul sisters. There is definitely some genetic fucking link between us if this is an average conversation between adults in your house. I knew it.
@Candy: OMG that is disgusting! And beautifully hilarious! Girl, you got me.
@CiF: Oh come ON. I know you must have a good story in there somewhere about those feminine unmentionables.
@Buddha_Girl: Can you imagine the dinner conversation if the four of us got together without kids?
HAHHAHAHAH
too funny. my boyfriend once used my venus razor to shave his face. never again. and my ex husband told me when he was a child he once wore his mum pantyliners in his pants as he wanted to be a girl. weird. but good idea, there should be a patent in there somewhere... at the beginning i was wondering where this was going, if your husband had seriously sweaty balls, thank good ness it didnt end up there!
That's classic. And really kind of smart. In a "what the hell are you thinking?" kind of way.
Holy shit. That's one of the funniest things I've read in days.
This is freaking hilarious!!!!
D
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