Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Calling All IVF Experts

ETA: Anyone is welcome to comment on this post! LOL I guess I shouldn't have titled it the way I did--the topic revolves around IVF/fertility, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear what you have to say about it! LOL

I need some feedback from those of you who have had IVF, or anyone who has gone through any infertility treatment. I tend to be overly critical, and well, bitchy when it comes to people I think are stupid. I need an objective point of view.

There is a mom in my mom's group. She took cl*mid in order to conceive her first child. She and her husband had had difficulty conceiving a second time. She is in her early forties. She just had two failed IUIs.

She has been talking about the possibility of doing IVF all summer and fall. Now that her IUIs have failed she is at a crossroads as to what to do.

I would be super sympathetic. Would be. Except every conversation I have with her regarding IVF involves her issue that "IVF makes you fat." What the fuck?

Um, PREGNANCY makes you fat, toots.

At our last playgroup she actually said to me, "Well, I've been talking with Other IVF Mom and I just don't know. It's expensive, it's a lot of work with the shots. It is very painful, and the medicine makes you fat." All said in her fabulous French accent.

Maybe it is just me, but isn't the desire for a child usually larger than the worry of gaining a few pounds? This woman is rail thin. She looks awesome--but to me it seems as if her priorities are way fucked up.

So is it just me being cynical and bitchy? When we were faced with infertility, I didn't give a damn about how much weight I gained or lost. It was all about starting a family. I like this lady a lot, but I am getting to the point I want to shake the shit out of her.


Heather said...

Shake her shit, man. She needs to get over it. Regardless of IVF/IUI/all-natural porno sex, you're going to fat when a pregnancy is involved, your skin is going to get stretched, and all other manner of physical weirdness. If she's worried about it, she's not ready for it.

Hey, I'll shake her shit. I'm just in that kind of mood....

themommykelly said...

OK. I've never had IVF or IUI, but you are right. Fat and having kids go together. Get over it already! Sounds to me like she doesn't really want to go through with it if that's on her list of cons.

I mean, I have two girls under four and just found out that I am preggers with number three. We were going to wait until I lost the other twenty-five pounds I need to to look fabulous. But then I though, what the hell!? I'm thirty eight, not getting any younger and GOING TO GET FAT AGAIN once I do get pregnant! It goes with the territory. So what that the doctor uses the bikini cut for my c-sections... I will never wear a bikini again from the stretch marks!

Just a stupid question regarding your friend ... did you tell her this or does it bother you so much that you can't get it out politely? Some people really need reality checks!

blog.feefifoto.com said...

Don't bother. Having endured infertility treatments for both my kids in my quest to become a SINGLE mom (now there's a double whammy) I know that anyone who shows that kind of doubt isn't cut out for the process and most likely won't go through with it. You have to want that child so badly that you'd take a bullet in the face if you thought it would help. Save your breath.

Myla said...

Shake away Mama, shake away. I can not comment on IVF because I am so no where near that world, yet. But, if I had the desire to have a child I would really not be bitching about the weight gain. Like I said, shake away. :)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

themommykelly: She is in my mom's group, so we know each other, but I would not say we are best buds. I have kind of made "that face" when she says those things. You know the whole head-tilt "Well..." thing like getting fat wouldn't be so bad for a pregnancy. And she just blows me off and changes the subject. So, I just won't go there with her.

Blue Momma said...

What a wacko! If I could afford IVF I wouldn't care if I gained a hundred pounds!

Plus, I'm fat already so who cares?

Christina LMT said...

I was a surrogate mother, so I did have to take the oral steroids and do all the hormone injection, etc.
I actually LOST five pounds during the pregnancy, and I had twins, too.
The steroids do increase your appetite, though.

Michele said...

I started IVF fat, so I cant really say whether it makes you fat. BUT, anyone who is that worried about it, has her priorities misaligned and should not be encouraged to press on.

Survival of the less-self-absorbed, I say!