Crash Into Me

We quote a lot of TV and film around here. Last week I learned the horrible lesson to never use the quote I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight flippantly. I didn't get the flu, but I met some shellfish that didn't like me very much. Lots of vomiting ensued, and a week later I am still not completely recovered.

It's has also been our first week of summer vacation. The kids and I have had a really nice time getting settled into a routine, and it has helped ease me into activity after feeling so badly. We've had a week of crafts and playing and taking it easy, so the last thing on my mind was a car accident. My husband says it's my punishment for taking the kids to the thrift store again. There I was, minding my own business, stopped behind a huge line of traffic waiting for the light to turn green when a guy plowed into the back of me. Thankfully, I did not hit the car in front of me, but my kids were screaming and frightened beyond belief.

The next hour involved standing on the side of the road arguing with an elderly Chinese gentleman who was not carrying insurance in the car. I'd called the police right away, but as we waited and waited no one arrived. I tried every stall tactic I knew because I did not want to drive away from the scene. In my world Call me tonight and I'll give you my insurance information over the phone is just not cool. The man became more and more agitated as it became apparent I did not believe in his integrity. My kids continued to howl in the backseat. I clutched a napkin with the man's information scribbled in blurry ink and tried to decide what the fuck to do.

When the blue light special arrived.

I have never been so happy to see a squad car in my life. The young officer got out, determined who was driving which vehicle, and asked us to turn over our information. Good lord did his expression change when the other driver tried to explain that his insurance was at home and not in the car. At that point, I didn't care what happened because I knew the dude was going to get a ticket, and I was off the hook. To further complicate matters, the sky opened up as only a Southern thundershower can and dumped buckets of water on us. I climbed back in the car and got my kids calmed down while the officer handled things on his end. It turns out my daughter was more worried about our car being smashed (which it wasn't) than anything being actually wrong.

So this week I have learned that when a friend asks me how well I do mussels, I am to answer Not very. That when the elderly Chinese gentleman calls at home to apologize profusely for hitting my car, ask if my children are okay, and give me his insurance information that there actually are people who follow though and aren't lying to save their asses. It's a good lesson to learn.

But I'm still glad I called the cops.