Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Relief In A Pill

I am turning into my mother-in-law.

That is the horrifying revelation I had this past week when my doctor decided to prescribe water pills for me to take. My long-time readers know that I have endometriosis. And a bad case of it at that. That means birth control pills for the long haul.

This summer, my doctor switched me to a different formulation. For the first time in five years, this one actually works. It has been wonderful. Except for one lousy side effect. Bloating. I've never been able to sympathize with women who have complained about bloating or retaining water. Damn, that sucks has been my standard reply. The past three months, however, have been a lesson to me.

This new medication? The first month? Made me gain four pounds in two days. The puffy feeling went away after about a week. But now? It isn't going away. If I wear socks, my ankles come out at the end of the day looking like I am eight months pregnant. I called my doctor's office to tell them thanks, but no thanks. It sounds vain and shallow to admit, but I'd rather go back to my non-effective pill than gain pound after pound of water every month.

Instead, my doctor is having me try a water pill. The only person I ever knew who took one was my MIL. That was her post-partum diet. After having gained 90lb with her first pregnancy, her post-partum weight loss regimen consisted of cigarettes and water pills. Until after three months she couldn't figure out why she wasn't losing any weight. Turns out she was three months preggers with Hubbie. Nice.

So, somewhat following in my MIL's footsteps, tomorrow begins my new course of these lovely peach-colored horse pills. And seriously, I cannot fucking wait to take them. I am tired of feeling like a marshmallow. I don't want to see an indentation in my leg from my socks, the sofa or my finger. I did that with my first pregnancy, and I while I don't have the t-shirt I have most certainly been there, done that.

Tomorrow, I look forward to an extremely satisfying day of running back and forth to the toilet. Bring. It. On.


So Not Wishy Washy said...

Gah! You poor thing! I did the water retention thing the last month of my pregnancy with Robert. I couldn't wear SHOES. I wore socks to work. For real. Ha ha ha!

Hang in there. And stay by the potty - cause that stuff is gonna come out in torrents once the pill hits your system. Should make for some great bloggy fodder!

faemom said...

Oh man, that sucks! (Does the exclaimation point make it more sincere?) I really hope those pills work. It's not vain. You must feel so uncomfortabl.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Dude. That completely blows. I hope these water pills help you out and that you feel better. Ish.

A Free Man said...

I'm pretty sure I'm becoming my mother. Which is ... disturbing.

Patois said...

Damn, here's hoping they work and FAST!

Joe said...

I had to ask the wife what a water pill is. It just makes you pee a lot? Is that right? Can't you just drink a cup of coffee instead? That stuff goes through me like a laser beam!!! (Typical guy sympathy, right?)

I hope it works for ya, doll. It can't be comfortable.

Gypsy said...

Good luck!