Sunday, April 5, 2009

Headache Vs. Fever

The old cliche of "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" is a cliche for a reason, I assume. A headache is a nondescript, non-provable ailment that is hard to argue against.

I have to confess that now that I have children "I'm sorry, he's running a temperature today" works to my same advantage. I do not use it very often, but there are very few parents who would say to come on over if your kid is working 101.5 between the ears.

I just used this excuse not five minutes ago. We'd made plans with someone to meet at their house, have the kids play and have a nice visit so the husbands could meet each other. She told me that she had to confirm with her husband and would call back. She never has. So here it is, Sunday afternoon and I am in the dilemma of whether or not we are supposed to go and visit. She has pulled things like this before, and today I am feeling punchy. I don't understand why it is that I have to follow up.

So I rang their house, got the machine:

Hi, this is NATUI. I know that we had booked it on the calendar to come today, and I don't know if you ever had the chance to confirm with your husband (because you didn't bother to call, text or email), but nonetheless, LittleMan has caught the same spring cold as all his classmates (which is actually true) and is really congested (disgustingly true) and he is now running a temperature after his nap (not yet proven true as he is still napping in the stroller).

So, while it isn't quite as dramatic and Alien Vs. Predator the Not Today We Have A Fever excuse is solidly in my arsenal. I have no compunction about using it. I am heading over to my cool neighbors house for the kiddos to play, the adults to have some booze, and I don't feel one bit bad. Maybe I am a shit for not coming clean with her, but I just shouldn't have to work this hard to make a connection with someone.


buddha_girl said...

I refuse to "work hard" to be someone's friend. You wanna be my friend? Be it. "Considering" being my friend? Don't let me know ahead of time. Just make your damn decision and act one it.

I love the fever! LOVE IT! When I'm feeling especially spiteful, I pull out the "he's got diarhea!" Works every freaking time.

Joe said...

That's more than I would have done. If they didn't call me back, I would have just stayed home and chilled.

Although, I'm pretty excited that I'll be able to use Tyler as a scapegoat on the times that I don't want to go out and don't have a good excuse.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Good for you, hon! I saw screw 'em! And glad you had a good time at another's home. :)

A Free Man said...

People that don't call back annoy the shit out of me. It seems to be some sort of Australian rule that you don't call people back. Drives me round the bend.

That being said, I'd take Joe's approach as well. And then be bitchy to them when they call wondering where you are.