Friday, September 12, 2008

A Cat Named Frankenstein

Chapter IV

The surgeon stood at the foot of my bed. I suppose I had been awake for a while because I was back in my own room and no longer in recovery.

I remember that she looked at me and said: How in the world have you been walking around like this?

I blinked at her. I looked at my husband. Like what?

I had endometriosis. Not a little. Not a lot. A shitload.

The laparoscopy to remove the cysts revealed that my left ovary was attached to my bladder, which in turn was attached to my colon. One giant bundle of twisted tissue stuck together with endometrial adhesions.

Think spiderweb. On steroids, made of superglue.

My right ovary was attached to my abdominal wall.

Both of which left my fallopian tubes twisted up like a leftover ball of kite string.

Additionally (because why would multi-organ adhesions be enough), I had lesions.

Not a little. Not a lot. A shitload.

Think internal blisters. That burst. Bursting causes scar tissue. Adhesions form on scar tissue. Argumentum ad infinitum.

This surgeon had opened me up for a little two-cyst snippage. Instead, she spent three hours delicately disentangling my organs from one another and cauterizing every square centimeter of space she could find to dissolve those spiderwebs and seal off those blisters.

She couldn't understand why I didn't know. I couldn't understand why I didn't know. There had been no pain. No discomfort. No nothing.

I spent three days in the hospital. I could barely stand, I was so sore. Not only from the four incisions but from the massive amounts of scraping and burning that had been done. A side effect of which was a swollen bladder. You will never appreciate your plumbing until you can't take a piss on your own.

I was so swollen from the internal trauma that the nurses had to catheterize me. Not Hey, let's put you on a catheter but a straight cath. Which meant they did it over and over as needed. I topped out at 1000 cc's of urine before the realized that they needed to be doing it more often.

In that span of three days, no one came to visit. None of my friends. None of my coworkers. Not even my in-laws who lived less than a ten minute drive from the hospital.

The communication between me and my husband was starting to break down. The past six months hadn't gone very well, and we now had an encyclopedia worth of knowledge thrown at us.

Neither of us knew how to handle it. He went back to work. I was left at the hospital. Alone.


Patois said...

Fuck. Those aren't friends. Those aren't family. I'm starting to understand. Chapter and verse.

Joe said...

As a new reader to your blog, I'm sitting here wondering why the hell your friends/family didn't come to visit you. Looks like I'll need to make a few trips into the archives pretty soon.

RiverPoet said...

Darlin', I'm feeling this story. I was alone most of a 7-day stint in the hospital after a complication from my hysterectomy. My intestines stopped working. Yes, when your plumbing breaks down, you remember to appreciate it when it's working again.

I wasn't alone because they didn't love me, though. I was in a hospital a 45-min drive from home, and hubby still had to work, but I've never felt so alone.

Love ya, girl - D

Betsey Booms said...

You poor sore baby!

Gypsy said...

Jesus, that's awful! {hugs}

Sarah said...

Mean friends and mean cliff hanger!

andbabybmakesthree said...

Following along, definitely riveted.

Also, hope your trip goes well. I'm sure you'll return with stories galore.


buddha_girl said...

Fuck those indecent idiots. I'd categorize them as Republicans based soley on the fact that they left you to fester alone in a hospital bed.

Me? I would have violated rules and brought homemade brownies, Kahlua and cream, and tons of trashy magazines. The nurses would have had to kick my chunky ass out of your room.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Patois: I'm still trying to understand it. LOL

@Joe: Yeah, you joined at kind of an odd time. I've never done a "series" before. Hope you can make it through all the girlie medical stuff.

@RiverPoet: Plumbing is SO important! LOL

@Betsey Booms: Great to see ya hon! I owe you an email.

@Gypsy: Thanks for the hugs! Right back at you.

@Sarah: Yeah, they dropped the ball on that one.

@andbabymakesthree: Thank you for saying this. It's good to know that people are following along and I am not writing in a vacuum.

@Budddha_Girl: LOL I would have liked to have seen those nurses try.

Jay said...

Oh, my goodness!!! And no-one visited you? Yikes .. I' have been so depressed about that, and then soooo pissed! You poor thing. :(

A cat named Frankenstein? Made me think of Red Dwarf!

Toasty said...

My laparoscopy for endometriosis was a walk in the park compared to that... holy spiderweb, batgirl! I did have a few burst ovarian cysts that got me into the E.R. with no waiting. Worst pain next to childbirth. But afterwards got to lay on the sofa with a fist full of Vicodin.
Hope you have a great trip. Come by for a visit when you get back!

hollystar said...

i would have come to visit you. i would have sent flowers. is it too late? can i still send flowers? and a balloon maybe? <3!