Monday, April 21, 2008

MIL Monday: Naked TMI

D over at Poetic License noted I had not posted a MIL Monday lately when we met for coffee yesterday, so this one is for you babe.

Pre-pregnancy, I was a naked sleeper. I wasn't in my younger days, but after Hubbie and I started living together, as I am sure you can understand this became fairly standard.

That changed with the pregnancies and nursing, but it is not like the idea of naked sleeping is foreign to me.

However. However.

As juvenile as this sounds, I do not want to know if other people sleep naked. Well, let me clarify. My friends and close family? Fine. My MIL? Not so much.

When she visited us for those interminable three weeks in the High Sierras, she and FIL stayed in our guest room. They used the robes we provided them.

But. But.

One fateful day I followed FIL and Hubbie into the guest room. MIL was still in bed. Under the covers. Thankfully.

It was obvious that she was naked under the sheets.

Please god, I hope not nekkid, but naked at any rate.

Which means for three solid weeks she and her naked body were in my guest bed.

Seriously? It made me want to puke.

Juvenile? Totally. I know this is my issue. I just do not want to know that she and her nasty attitude, bad vibes were thrashing around and rubbing that body on my sheets. Like she was leaving a negative karma mark, ya know?

No, I did not boil the sheets when she left.

I did, however, clean the room.

If you know what I mean.


Momma said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! (I think) Wow, she is really a piece of work, isn't she? I have never slept in the raw in anyone's guest room. It's just. not. done!

*sigh* But thanks for giving me the MIL fix. If I could be sure my MIL wouldn't read my blog, ever, then I'd blog about her, too. I could tell you some stories!

Peace - D

Mermaid said...

Keep those sheets in a plastic bag in the garage and just bring them out any old time they visit. I've also found one of those water proof mattress covers very useful for my own sanity. I feel your pain.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Normally, I would not side with my sons in the Great Young vs. Old Debate. But I have to agree with them on this. Naked old people - Ew, Ew, Ew. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, but DO NOT take the freak show on the road.

Tigerlilly said...

God, I know EXACTLY what you went thru.. and how well you cleaned that room when she left! LOL

Why do they feel so comfortable in our home?? Jeez.. keep your nasties to yourself.

Good to know I'm not the only one with a hag for a MIL.

Chris in Flux said...

Despite everything that I've done in my time I'm kind of a puritan at heart. So I tend to use a healthy dose of denial when it comes to other family members bodily functions, nakedness or things they may or may not do in various states of undress. Just makes life easier...

Chris in Flux said...

By the way, we're off tomorrow and will be off the grid for a while. I'll look forward to catching up on your goings on when I figure out the inverted Antipodean interwebs.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, ish. Yeah, clean it up indeed. Fumigate? Burn? Just generally cut that section of the house out and take it to the city dump.

That sounds about right! :-)

buddha_girl said...

That's fucking foul. I do NOT want someone, especially my MIL naked in my bed. If you're not in your own house or a hotel, you MUST wear something to bed even if it's just undies. Cripes.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Momma: You are welcome, my dear. Glad I could oblige.

@Mermaid: Unfortunately, I think the rubber sheets would be a tad too obvious. :)

@BvB: OMG--I laughed until I cried at your 'freak show' phrase. How awesome are you!

@Tigerlilly: Looks like we may need to swap some MIL stories sometime...

@CiF: I agree with you. It's just a bit hard to deny it when you are standing in the same bedroom as the offending party. It sears itself into your retina.

@CMGD: Nah, I didn't go that far, but it was as close as I could get to an exorcism as a lay woman as possible.

@Buddha_Girl: Note to self--if visiting BG, always bring fresh panties to wear to bed...

Gypsy said...


Also, I can't sleep naked. I get too horny.

Laura Lohr : My Beautiful Life said...

First of all, I love that you can have, "MIL is a whackjob" as a tag (jealous). Unfortunately, my MILs (yep, that's plural---MIL and step-MIL) read my blog).

...and ewwwwh. I hope those sheets were burned.