Saturday, April 12, 2008

Meet My Alter Ego

We all have an alter ego. Whether we want to look put together, convince someone we are a badass, or dupe our bosses into thinking we are competent at our jobs--there is always an aspect of ourselves we cultivate in private hoping to put forth in public. I mean, who wants to go around as Haggard Mom-of-Two?

I don't know exactly into which category my alter ego falls, but I do know her name.

Melissa.

No matter where I go or what I do, there are people who call me Melissa.

That is not my name. There is no resemblance to my name save the first initial. Regardless, since I was a teenager, this name has followed me.

I blame it on my sister.

Back in the day when we attended church youth group (yes, take the time to wipe the beverage spray off of your monitors) I talked with a really nice guy named Bernard.

I felt rather sorry for the dude. If he had been British, his name would have sounded cool. In the States? Sorry man, you're a dork.

One day I realized he had called me Melissa. After it happened several times, I finally told him in as nice a way as possible that Melissa was not my name.

Imagine my surprise to find out that my sister had told him that was my name. And come to find out, his name was not Bernard. To this day I have no recollection of what his name actually was.

Turns out my sister had introduced him to me as Bernard, told him I was Melissa then just kicked back and laughed like hell for weeks until we figured it out.

This curse has followed me since that day.

Today, our new neighbor in our new town on our new street walked by with this dogs. I waved, he waved. Hi Melissa!

Ah shit. Here we go again.

9 comments:

Momma said...

LMAO! "Hi, Melissa!"

You know, I wish people would call me something other than my given name. I hate my name. But alas, it is unique and I am stuck with it. Maybe I just wish my mom had named me something cooler (boy, can I feel for Bernard, or whatever his name was), like Ginger.

Peace - D

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Hey now. I know some pretty rockin' Melissas. I do not, however, know any rockin' Bernards. (I do know some rockin' St. Bernards though).

It could be worse - it could be the dread name that ends with the "eee" sound, like mine.

Which will sound so adorable when I'm 70, rambling around the nursing home. Did my parents have any forethought whatsoever? Jeez.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

@Momma: I had a great Auntie with your first name, so it feels weird to me to use it. Around the NATUI household, we refer to you by your last name. It just sounds so damned cool. Esp. with the whole hockey thing going on right now...

@BvB: I know some pretty great Melissa's too, I am just not one of them. And don't get me started on the whole "adult sounding" name thing. That is another soapbox of mine.

Blue Momma said...

Hi, Melissa, I'm Cindy. If someone ever gets my name wrong it is always Cindy. I guess I just look like a Cindy.

I just don't get it.

justjessie said...

Ha! You're not alone. People always have and always will call me "Jennifer." I don't know why. Even my FIL has done it a time or two. At least now I know I'm not the only person this happens to. Thanks, Melissa. :)

Candy said...

The Baroness said I should check you out, and I do like she tells me.

My name is Candy, but people have always called me Cindy. I realize the names are spelled similarly, and no one really SHOULD be named "Candy", but since they don't sound the same...not even the beginning sound...I never understand the mistake. You would think, upon looking at someone you know whose name escapes you, you would remember it makes a "K" sound...not "is spelled similarly to this other lame name I know."

Leading me to summarize, people are just stupid.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

OMG! Too funny! I was once called Kathy for two solid hours by a group of women, even though I introduced myself as Heather. Go figure.

Just tell everyone that Melissa is your evil twin. :-)

Chris in Flux said...

Hey Melissa, I've been called a hell of a lot worse!

.:| Melissa |:. said...

LOL, I guess you must look like a Melissa! ;0)

My name IS Melissa, but I'm often called, and answer to, Michelle and Marissa.