Don't Freak Out In Front of the Neighborhood Children

I think it is important for kids to try new things when it comes to food. So many parents have their children on freakish restrictions when it comes to what they can eat. I believe everything in moderation and at the appropriate time.

The key to this statement is appropriate. LittleBird is two and a half.

She just walked in the front door to proudly show me that the six year old next door had given her a piece of gum.

My internal dialogue: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! She's two! She can't have gum! She's gonna choke. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

What I said: Oh!! Let me see? Here, spit it out.

She spits it out into my hand. It is one of those hard, round, pink pieces of gum you used to get for Halloween in the yellow and pink wrapper. Like chewing on a boulder. And this one is still hard.

Internal dialogue: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! THANK YOU GOD that she came to show me this!! THANK GOD that she didn't try to chew this outside.

What I said: That was SO nice of Sxxxxxx to share her gum with you. But you don't have all your teeth yet (she doesn't have all her two-year molars yet).

She opens her mouth to show me her teeth, "Yes I do!"

Internal dialogue: Fuck. That didn't work.

What I said: Yes, honey. But you are going to be getting MORE teeth, and it will be easier for you to chew the gum when you have them. Right now it is a little too hard for you. When you have another birthday, then maybe you can try it again. But thank you so much again Sxxxxxx for being such a sharing girl. That was really nice of you to share your gum with LittleBird.

NeighborGirl says, "You're welcome!" with a cheerful smile.

Both girls run back into the front yard to continue playing.

I come in the house and feel the need to pour myself a strong one.

I know I cannot control everything my daughter does and sees, but damn this is hard.